Sunday, October 30, 2005

The Bum Also Rises

Even now, though ensconced in a lovely apartment, well-fed and nearly middleclass again, I go for walks, like in the old bummy days, endless seas of black asphalt and white divider, the shiny new cars that squeak when the owner comes, the little mounds of McDonalds garbage, the horizontal wall on which this old spider walks.

Hallelujah, I'm a bum.

Hallelujah I'm a bum again.

Sure, I have the apartment. But the income is slight. The apartment is subsidized. I tried to turn respectable by actually working. Didn't tell anyone. They found out. "Thief! Fraud-artist! Ne-er-do- well. You actually worked. WORKED. Lazy bastard! And you didn't tell us. You now pay regular rent!"

Law of diminishing returns.

Hallelujah, I'm a bum again.

There is a story of the Great Pinspotter in the Sky, the god who always places you where he thinks you belong--in the gutter.

I suppose we all subconsciously follow our fathers. This is too good for me, this life. I don't deserve it.

My father spent two years in a German concentration camp.

I guess subconsciously, I am following him, hard as I try to work everyway but loose. But then my father nearly made a million after coming to Canada. No backward progress for him. Myself, I pretty well wrote the book on backward progress, just like in the movie, "The Jerk".

Rags. To riches. Back to rags.

Place to live, but rent- poor. Rags again.

Hallelujah, a bum again.

Out in the parking lot, thoughtful masturbator that one is. It is a good time to test your philosophy, your zen, your I-Ching,your Plato. And Kierkegaard, especially Kierkegaard, Either-Or. It gets darkest before the light. There is great power in a vacuum. It all hangs, like a guy hanging off a big junkyard magnet by his steel belt buckle--on the subjunctive.. You will certainly be subjunctive once the power is turned off. Actually, you will be in the indicative, your Adidas sticking up out of all that junk. With Wittgenstein, you will surely become aware of the case.

Most people are no great shakes. Automatons. They seek money, goods, power, sex. The bum seeks these things too, but he's under some sort of spell. The disease of denial.

This is too good for me. I am shit. The vacuum.

What did the bum have for breakfast today? Well, actually, it was pretty good. Over at the Dominion, there were four packages of shaved roast beef, a little green, yes, but then what country boy doesn't know that a steak is only good when broiled while a trifle green? You hang the Mother up for a day or two.

The bum is more oriented by the mother than the father. The bum can sew, understand computers, cook like a chef. Play chess.

Father always away. The war. The concentration camp.

Father's pain leading to alcoholism. Kicks you in the ass, calls you a bum. Love the bastard though. Builds and sells three houses in ten years. Not bad, even by Forest Hill standards.Yet there is this gap. The bum had chosen to get an education.Turned into a cliche. Educated bum.

Education is a drawing out, to turn all those gestures and motions towards the self, turn them outward. You become articulate, your motions and moves are deliberate, like an actor's. Educated, you are put out into the world, but like Supertramp, you find out. Sensible. Logical. And Lord, won't somebody tell me who I am?

But...Leonard Cohen: You have to walk carefully. The game is rigged. The clear illusions of young adulthood. Hah. Slaughterhouse coming.

Stupid Catholic in a Masonic world. This they do not teach you in school. Leave politics to the politicians. Stay in the middle where you belong.

It is getting into the late afternoon. There is this success/failure feeling, the empty feeling. The vacuum.

I am shit.

Then something taupe-coloured rises unnaturally out of the black ashpalt. Wittgenstein: Figure and Foreground. A sentence is a word picture, all that. And for all of that, you have the brain of a squirrel, and a squirrel is wittier than you, knows what he's doing. There is an unnatural blotch on the black pavement, the green piece of paper, just before you come to a footbridge along a brook. It is stark and out of place. It is a twenty-dollar bill, the gold embossing shining in the afternoon sun.

He who tries to deconstruct the great dead men for being fools is really at an ass's bridge. But what a lucky ass.

I pluck forth the greenback.

10 comments:

BATH BALL FILTER.COM said...

Great info ivan. I'm glad I stopped by for a while. I am searching for related information for BATH WATER FILTER.COM and found your blog. The Bum Also Rises makes a good read and I'll look forward to seeing more posts.

Ivan Prokopchuk said...

Oh futthewuck.
I think I need a bath.
I.

Anonymous said...

These fuckers are relentless. Bath Water Filter Dot Com? What the hell is that? And how about the deer hunting supply guy a while back?
... But that's to be expected, I reckon. Used to be these drummers knocked on your door to make their pitch. Now they weasel their way in via keyboard. Creepy.

JM

Ivan Prokopchuk said...

Yeah JM.
I put in word verification, then things got worse. The verification letters
would bob, weave and change universes like quantum particles, so I had to open things up again.
Probably kept all legitimite guys like you out for a while.
Will try to fix by weekend.
Ivan

Anonymous said...

"Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What's a 'man,' Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly, he'll basically give you a hard time. He'll be bigger, faster, and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, But, he'll be pretty good in the sack."
"I can put up with that," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.
"Yeah well, he's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, there is one condition."
"What's that, Lord?"
"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."
:D :D :D

_____________________________
shemale and female sex

Anonymous said...

College students filmed their own film, rather drunk students:-)
Links here:
free sex shemale
free pussy sex picture
bisexual britni porn star
free porn star sex gallery
asian free hardcore movie sex
clip free group movie sex
free gallery group monofoniche sex
clip ebony free sex video
ebony sex free links
free gallery interracial sex
free internet porn movies online
free mature porn movies
fre
e interracial sex videos


p://free-sex-porn.pornmovies1.info/adult-college-free-partys-porn-sex-wild.html>adult college free partys porn sex wild

bisex free mmf porn
clip free latin movie porn sex

Anonymous said...

Hello guys, maybe i shoul sell my collection? to earn some extra cash. Here are some links from my base:
amateur free gallery home sex video
amateur free movie player real sex
anal black free movie sex

hubby-free-gallery-sexy-white.html>ass chubby free gallery sexy white

free big ass sex clip
asian download free movie sex
asian free movie sex wmv
clip free mature sex video
alexis bigtitsroundasses from may
anal clip free gay sex

o/black-free-gay-man-porn-sex.html>black free gay man porn sex

black free gay sex thug
chat free with sexy teen

://free-lesbian-sex.sexonmovies.info/black-free-lesbian-pic-sex.html>black free lesbian pic sex

free amateur lesbian sex video
free hairy pussy sex pic

Anonymous said...

Happy to anounce my before wedding only men party:
[url=http://free-amateur-sex.pornonmovies.info/amateur-couple-free-sex.html]amateur couple free sex[/url]
[url=http://free-amateur-sex.pornonmovies.info/amateur-free-homemade-movie-sex.html]amateur free homemade movie sex[/url]
[url=http://free-anal-sex.pornonmovies.info
/anal-clip-free-sex.html]anal clip free sex[/url]
[url=http://free-anal-sex.pornonmovies.info/anal-free-index-link-movies.html-sex-toyotaengieqq.iespana.es.html]anal free index link movies.html sex toyotaengieqq.iespana.es[/url]
[url=http://free-ass-sex.pornonmovies.info/free-ass-sex.html]free ass sex[/url]
[url=http://free-asian-sex.pornonmovies.info/asian-by-free-gallery-nude-picture-sexy-tiava-woman.html]asian by free gallery nude picture sexy tiava woman[/url]
[url=http://free-asian-sex.pornonmovies.info/asian-free-porn-sex-site.html]asian free porn sex site[/url]
[url=http://free-mature-sex.pornonmovies.info/classic-free-mature-movie-sex.html]classic free mature movie sex[/url]
[url=http://big-tits-sex.pornonmovies.info/bang-bros-big-tits.html]bang bros big tits[/url]
[url=http://big-tits-sex.pornonmovies.info/big-hanging-tits.html]big hanging tits[/url]
[url=http://free-gay-sex.pornonmovies.info/black-free-gay-hot-latino-sex.html]black free gay hot latino sex[/url]
[url=http://free-teen-sex.pornonmovies.info/asian-free-picture-sex-teen.html]asian free picture sex teen[/url]
[url=http://free-teen-sex.pornonmovies.info/couple-free-sex-teen-video.html]couple free sex teen video[/url]
[url=http://free-lesbian-sex.pornonmovies.info/black-free-lesbian-sex-video.html]black free lesbian sex video[/url]
[url=http://free-lesbian-sex.pornonmovies.info/first-free-her-lesbian-sex-trailer.html]first free her lesbian sex trailer
[/url]
[url=http://free-hairy-sex.pornonmovies.info/free-hairy-sex-movie.html]free hairy sex movie[/url]

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Sick and twisted some of those things.

But this post is quite interesting. It certainly tells the tale of you. Sometimes it seems you were blind to the fact this life was falling apart and othher times you seem to acknowledge your role in it all.

You are a wonderful writer, bum or resident richie.

Tara

艾丰 said...

jianbin0406
christian louboutin shoes
cheap nfl jerseys
michael kors outlet
nike air max uk
air max 2015
michael kors handbags
lacoste polo shirts
valentino outlet
jordan shoes
beats by dre
nike huarache
lebron james shoes
michael kors outlet clearance
louis vuitton handbags
nfl jersey wholesale
lacoste pas cher
abercrombie and fitch
abercrombie and fitch
mlb jerseys
cheap jordans
michael kors outlet store
michael kors outlet
true religion outlet
tommy hilfiger
salomon shoes
nike outlet store
michael kors factory outlet
michael kors outlet
mbt shoes outlet
discount michael kors handbags
lacoste shirts
lebron shoes
mulberry outlet
michael kors handbags
snapbacks wholesale
swarovski outlet
links of london