Forced to teach business English, I was reduced to explaining to students that there once was this old Achean merchant who had no idea of where all his ships were, that all the masters were drinking while driving and so were half the slaves, that his son, Hippias was growing long hair and up to no good, that he needed a good report writer to tell him what the Hades was going on.
That, I insisted, was the granddaddy of all business reports.
Smartass in the class.
"Were those reports in Linear A or Linear B?"
"What the &^%* do you know kid? I have a tattoo of a fox hunt running all the way down my back (the stars and stripes are on my chest)--the fox hunt is in full progress, and the hounds chase him all the way up my major aperture...Take that, you little uptown asshole!"
At least that's what I felt like telling him.
Yeah, yeah, there was Linear A, which was a kind of pictorial pot-talk, a tad like Egyptian hieroglyphics and there was Linear B, closer to Classic Greek ......I had just graduated from a tech university that wasn't properly accredited and I had to go to Toronto to 'larn somthin' ; and that was why I knew some of that shit, but if a student had asked me three months beforehand, I would have answered in tulips and buttercups...Prof is a f*cking idjit.
There was an essay part to the course, and here is where the otherwise bland future MBA's could get a little creative.
ROLES THAT I PLAY
Like in the morning, I wake up to my freaking alarm clock which throw across the room and knock batteries all over the rug--playing the role of day worker.
Like in the evening, I am offering my wife all sorts of amenities and nice talk, hoping later on to play the role of lover.
Like in graduate school, buttering up the prof so you'll keep getting those straight A's and not lose your scholarship, though she knows you are a fucking idiot; playing the role of graduate student.
I thought it was a fairly frivolous assignment until I got some of the essays in. Shakespeare was mentioned, of course, as well as Killgore Trout, a character out of Kurt Vonnegut Junior, on this day of a famous space shoot, where the astronaut was given a fairly straighforward role: "Take the village idiot and shoot him up in a pressure cooker."
And as for the Greek merchantman, why, all Greek philisohy was bumfucking. "The whole is greater than the part.
"Now bend over."
Hey, I'm just quoting Kurt Vonnegut Jr! Serious scholarship, this.
But in all seriousness, we do play roles.
All the time.
There are so many modes we get into.
I have a clown mode (you may have noticed).
I have a serious mode, where I edit good people's poetry and some of it really reaches me, makes me weep.
I have a mode as an avant-garde musician and all the hip talk that goes around it.
What are some of the roles that you play?
What are some of the modes you get into?
I am really curious.