Saturday, October 07, 2006

Sieur de Montaigne, the Beatles and J. D. Crowe and the New South

My stomach rumbled today, and that made me think of...."

Not a good tribute to Montaigne, the inventor of the essay, but it's sure fun to think along those lines.

Eight hundred years of French culture to produce a Montaigne, and until I read the dude, I though it was something I'd been doing all along.

But my stomach did rumble today, no doubt the result of eight double-strength beers, which puts you into a state of mind of extreme vulnerability, and the state of your bowels even worse.

We got time for a crap joke here, Jaye Wells? Ha.

Yeah, my stomach rumbled today, especially after listening to vintage Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Band and a good night of TV for a change, watching wonderful Bluegrass with J.D. Crowe and the New South: Those boys can play!

I once tried to follow the literary advice that most stories are best with three elements; tried it once, in fact and found it didn't work. Artificial plots can sometimes do one in.

Largely, I find things working best at Pick, Pluck and Pray, which is more along the lines with our outsopken TV puppet here, Ed the Sock than the great Sieur de Montaigne.

But I'll try three ideas all at once anyway.

My stomach rumbled today. Made me think, in some parallel universe, of the noble Frog.
And then Yellow Submarine, which made me think of the Fab Four.

And finally, J. D. Crowe of the New South, especially some of the "Jesus" songs, for which I have a certain affinity.
...I did grow up with Hank Williams after all, and he was no stranger to songs of the Bible.

My stomach rumbled today because it struck me that we all live in a yellow submarine and it it only through true-blue American culture that we can ever come home again, come home to Applachia, that original source of Anglo-German-Irish ditties that has fed so much popular music ever since the British Invasion.

We all live in a yellow submarine, and if we don't watch it, we may yet get torpedoed by a killer sub made in our own shipyards.
America is losing soldiers every day.
We are losing soldiers almost every day.

So when I heard that bluegrass band singing "Jesus' blood can make the vilest sinner weep", I found some reason for the knot in my stomach. We kicked the shit out of the Aztecs, and yet we are back to human sacrifice and I for one can't stomach it.

Up periscope in the yellow submarine. Wake the fuck up!

Not for nothing is the South singing, "Jesus' blood can make the vilest sinner weep."

And I ain't even religious.


EA Monroe said...

Hi Ivan,
Your last line cracked me up. Hell of a post! I know that rumbling in the stomach feeling. Yellow submarines are making the rounds. Up periscope! Torpedoes away!

ivan said...

Thanks ea.
Yeah, don't that rumbling stomach feeling make you want to go out and pick a bagful of stars on a Harvest Moon? They look so pretty through the periscope.

I like corn flakes.
Can you swim?

My blog information is just a bit off. I am a moon child too.

JR's Thumbprints said...

I'll sometimes use Freytag's Modified Triangle to zero in on my target.

ivan said...

Oh man, do I like that!

Hey, c'mon. I've just got the IQ of a mildly retarded high school teacher.
Thanks, jr's thumbprints.

R.J. Baker said...

Damn the torpedos.

We have become very efficient at killing our fellow mankind. It would seem our efficiencies should be turned to helping it with equal ferver, though alas it's not meant to be.

With all of our technilogical advances one would think human nature would evolve.

Not so.

In reading the ancients it would appear our true nature is the same as when we began to walk up-right; greed, lust, and the pursuit of power.

So we write...

ivan said...

And how we write, R.J.!
Right on.
We seemed to have de-volved from Australopithecus Boison to Australopithecus Paisan, as in mobster, or worse.
Darwin writes this novel and everybody takes it seriously.
Survival of the shittiest.

EA Monroe said...

I can swim like a fish, Ivan! Especially if the yellow submarine starts sinking!

Jaye Wells said...

"We got time for a crap joke here, Jaye Wells? Ha."

Does this mean I'm getting reputation?

ivan said...


I was in the Petty Officers' mess watching them prepare the turkey for tomorrow's Canadian Thanksgiving...Was going to answer your meme (and I will), but got into the rum toddy and they let me taste the turkey. I wouldn't stop tasting and the rum was good.

Made me feel bad that American submariners could only have Hershey bars for Columbus day.

Just my love of non-sequiturs and malapropisms, puns. "I simply love aircraft carriers, gushed Mrs. Forrestal Enterprisingly."
Don't know why I love that.
Must be from the old Tom Swiftie days. (Tom Swift and his electric aircraft carrier"?

Damn rum._

ivan said...

It's not you for sure. It's me
with my constant references to that great master of coprophilia, Rabelais. He seemed to believe in communal relief.
His epic novel, Gargantua, is full of not only verbal diarrhea; he seemed to think there are only two types of people in the world, the retentives and the shitters.

I guess I ought to stop my references to scatological authors and familiar substances.

You are a Southern Lady, Jaye, of the finest reputation.

I'm a good old boy. Didn't mean no harm.

Jaye Wells said...

No harm here. I like a good scatalogical reference every now and then. Keeps one regular.

ivan said...

We're getting a little close to George Carlin territory.
"How come people always say 'I don't give a ....' instead of 'I don't take a ....'?"

ivan said...

e.a monroe,
Okay, I've been tagged and flagged, and so has Jaye in her blog.
Ive put up those nine points about books that you suggested, but I didn't have the heart to tag five more people.
Actually, I had put up some images, but Blogger screwed me again. So all you have in the blog just after this one is just plain dull Ivan copy about books he'd read...At least for now, till I get some images up.