Sunday, February 18, 2007

Meaner than a peach orchard shoat--More idle puns on the word Pig



Year of the Pig.

Why are pig jokes so funny?

Idle and whimsical today, I offer ten headlines with a pig reference.


PIGLET GOES BERSERK. SLAYS EIGHT

GABOAR SISTERS FINGERED IN TRIAL

MIGRUNT WORKERS REBEL

PIGS SUE AFTER " FEELING LIKE A PIG'S TAIL" REMARK

POLICEMAN'S ROCK BAND TERMED "ELECTRIC PORK"

PIG WINS NOBEL FOR "BOAR CONTINUUM" .

"PORKNOY'S COMPLAINT" REGISTERED BY MASTURBATING BOAR


"PRACTICAL PIG" SUES COMMUNISTS

DICK CHANEY DENIES HE'S MEAN. "I AM NOT A PEACH ORCHARD SHOAT."

PIG DISGRUNTLED AFTER OPERATION


Well, that's my contribution to the Year of the Pig today.

Confucious say, "Foolish man give wife grand piano.
Smahht man give wife stiff, upright Ohhgan."

...I know. I am beyond redemption.


--Ivan

22 comments:

Donnetta Lee said...

OH, GOD! That's all I can say.
Wee, Wee, Wee. All the way home.
Donnetta

ivan said...

Heh heh.

Krakatoa.

JR's Thumbprints said...

As long as I don't have to hear anyone squealing like a pig, I can't tolerate the year of the pig.

ivan said...

Thinking of that poor actor, Ned Beatty, ouf of DELIVERANCE.

After his performance in the movie, he went on to other jobs, but they kept saying, "Oh, you're the guy who got sodomized in Deliverance and had to 'grunt like a pig.'"

Josie said...

Ivan, you are totally beyond redemption, that's why we all love you... ha! I needed a good joke today. I seem to have lost my sense of humor with this cold. However, the cold is going away and the humor is coming back.

Cheers,
Josie

ivan said...

Hi Josie,

Yes, I am beyond redemption.

I thought that bad cold was
shoat to kill ya. Must have felt your energies down to a pig's tail.

But you're getting better!

Wheee-Wheee.

Ivan

Josie said...

Hi, Ivan, I'm back at work today. All the Chinese folks have brought in goodies and treats for Chinese New Year. Yum.

Now I know why they say Gung Hay Fat Choy.

He he

Josie

ivan said...

Ding hao.
What is it about Chinese food that makes it so tasty?...Even without MSG.
I was once befriended by a Chinese family from Hong-Kong.
The quality of the food was way up from anything you get from a takeout, of course.
It was something of a fondue ritual though, rather intimate.
They are a nice people.

Looks like you got treated as well.
Gung Hay FAT Choy indeed.
I recall having become a rather portly little Ukie after a few home-prepared Chinese dinners of seafood and mysterious tubers and sweets.

Josie said...

Real Chinese food is the absolute best. They use the best quality, freshest ingredients, and they really know how to cook. Yum.

I'm getting hungry.

Josie

ivan said...

Agreed.

I used to go to French restaurants in Toronto, notably La Chaumiere (sp?).

And though the French food was delicious, it was exactly like that served by my own family--peasant fare (maybe that's why French food is so good. It's what the plain folk eat, and plain folk know how to prepare and eat!).

But you need something that tickles and teases your palate, like Chinese food.

ivan said...

p.s. to Josie,

This is a whimsical aside:

I found when teaching creative writing, all the gay guys would always write about food served up.

They especially enjoyed pictures of lots of guys at a table with the food arriving .

To each his own, I suppose.

Says Bob Newhart: "Straight people are funny; men are funny; women are funny; gay people are funny.

"It's this political correctness that is starting to affect stand-up comedy and even our daily lives."

Ivan

Josie said...

Ivan, if you want to see some beautiful photos of our little corner of the world, go to

http://qualicumrn.blogspot.com/

(I don't know how to do the link, so you have to cut and paste.)

Josie

ivan said...

Josie,

Fascinating site.

Seems somehow surreal. Whistler and its scenery. Stragely Tibetan-like.

I've never been west of Rivers, Manitoba, near the Saskatchewan border. though I've travelled the Western world. Playboy of the Western world, in fact.

After a rather bad car accident in
Arkansas, I got to be a bit gun-shy of road trips.
Maybe one day I'll take VIA, but it seems right now in February that the travelling days are nigh to done.
There is one final adventure, where one has to stand up and be counted, but that seems to be going on all around me now.
It is, I suppose, the hint of spring.

Ivan

ivan said...

p.s. to Josie,

That's no "little corner of the world". It looks grand!

HeiressChild said...

here's the answer that flo would give on the tv program 'alice' when someone would ask her to do something she didn't want to do: "when pigs fly." might have been in the 80's.

Josie said...

You know, we should have a blog party, and all meet in Vancouver. It's a gorgeous place. Ivan, you could hop on the VIA rail, Liz could rev up the RV, and everyone else is invited to get here any way they can. It would be fun.

Josie

Josie said...

Hey, Ivan, are you there?

ivan said...

Josie,

I'm back, sort of.

Break in the weather.

The icebergs are melting.

The jungle is reviving.

Cobras in my back yard.

Pumas in the crevices.

Had to get the Mongoose.

The Mongoose has dispatched the cobra.

Envy the dead cobra now.

ooh.

Dang Hamilton, Ontaro beer.

Snakes alive!

Gotta do something about those pumas.

Good thing I've got my trusty elephant gun.

Here come the elephants.

And they are pink.

Never trust an NDP elephant!

ivan said...

Sylvia,

Thanks.

I think pigs fly by FedX now.


And then I'm sort of airborne myself today.

Whee!

ivan said...

p.s. to Josie,

A blog party would really be something.

But we can't find Liz.

Maybe her RV broke down.

More likely, she's working on a crackerjack of a story.

Ivan

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