Friday, March 30, 2007

Tangled Web Department

Tangled Webs Deparment.

They told me at Ryerson U that I was "all ability and no judgment."

Ordinarily, a university will not graduate anybody who might later embarrass the school.

They somehow let one through.

So my judgment was really off on the blog that I have just deleted.

I stole a picture from one JR, over which there may have been some flak.

I "outed" a fellow blogger. Almost scotched a project we'd both been working on.

Still, de debbil is on my shoulder.

JR looks so much like me, though younger, that it's uncanny.

So I will put JR's picture up again...Even his back porch looks a lot like mine, though mine is more recently painted. Heh.

So I will offer up this blog of apology, with just one finger crossed.

Will also try to retrieve the comments to the now deleted previous post.


islandgrovepress said...

I admitted, in a now deleted blog, that I was a journalist (translation: doublecrosser and general flim-flam man).

Here is what E.A. Monroe had said:

Heehee, Ivan and Josie!

I read the comments here!

So, Ivan, you are a double crosser and I am writing Ransom Notes!

islandgrovepress said...

Here is what for-real, professional writer Jeff Mitchell said:

Ivan's right: You can love, revile, admire or admonish a journalist. But you should never trust one.
It's like the old parable involving the turtle and the scorpion. Ask why you've been betrayed and the likely answer is:
"It's in my nature."

H.E.Eigler said...

Ivan - you never fail at the disturbing of the shit do you? There is quite a resemblance between you and JR.....interesting.

islandgrovepress said...

And here was Josie, mortified by my double-clutching and generally Quisling ways:

Ivan, no, no, no!


islandgrovepress said...

Hi dear Heather.

One of your stories, which had been published by Island Grove Press here, was certinly deserving of our now serious award: "The Lost Newfie Lab- Writing Award for Kitchen-Sink Realism in Blogging."

We just haven't worked the typographic kinks out and the award logo is still in composition.

Has Baby (real baby!) arrived yet?
You were about eight months pregnant when I last commented on your blog.


H.E.Eigler said...

Hi Ivan,

Sounds very serious indeed! I can't wait to see what you come up with.

Baby's official due date is June 4th but it is a bit on the large side so it could very well come before then. It requires at least 6 or 7 more weeks in the oven at minimum. I'll keep you posted as we get closer.

islandgrovepress said...



JR's Thumbprints said...

H.E. Eigler has given you up, Ivan! Seems as if you're trying to hi-jack my identity. Will I be having difficulty getting a passport this summer? Will you be after my good credit also? Not that I want to come to Canada and throttle anyone, oh no, there are many United States ex-felons willing to do that for me.

islandgrovepress said...


My bad credit and possible lineage going back to John of Gaunt--are a big worry for me.
And you may have passport problems as I don't know how many cars I'd smashed up on my way to Oklahoma-Texas-Mexico some years ago.

The posse of felons. Reminds me of some bit of doggerel I ran across while in the Air Force:

Upon my arrival at the castle, I was set upon by thieves.
Not ordinary thieves, but a**hole thieves
Who ragged me, bagged me
Yea! They even shagged me!

So I guess I'd better watch what I say from here on. Heh.


H.E.Eigler said...

Tee hee - guess I can disturb a bit of shit on occasion too!

islandgrovepress said...

I've been outed!

I read you on JR's blog.


Donnetta Lee said...

The Flim Flam Man, Huh? Well,it just goes to show you that ya cain't trust nobody no how, partner. What would we have if we didn't have journalists? Maybe...attorneys?


islandgrovepress said...


Now there's a profession.


islandgroverpress said...

I missed the l988 movie, about history's greatest liar.

I suppose I could have gotten a few tips from the THE ADVENDTURES of BARON MUNCHAUSEN.


Insisting that he alone can save the city, the Baron escapes the city's walls in a hot air balloon constructed of women's underwear, accompanied by Sally as a stowaway. The balloon expedition proceeds to the Moon, where the Baron, rejuvenated to the appearance of a younger man by the preceding adventure, finds his old associate Berthold, but angers the King of the Moon (Robin Williams in an uncredited cameo...

The movie was a flop, but I could certainly identify with (even envy) the great Baron Munchausen, king of liars.


Josie said...

Hmmmm, how old are you?

How old is JR?

Where were you a certain number of years ago?

...just asking, is all.


EA Monroe said...


Maybe JR will show up on Ivan's doorstep and punch him in the nose!

EA Monroe said...

Ivan, I put a link to an Oklahoma classical music station on my sidebar under Oklahoma Music -- KCSC-FM. I'm listening to it right now -- some great music for tonight's lineup. It's one of the best, if you like classical music.

islandgrovepress said...


Holy cow!

Michigan isn't too far off Canada.

Oh lord. Not that American girl!

He's really gonna come down here and punch my lights out.



islandgrovepress said...


Oh dear,

I can just imagine it. "Where you been, a**hole?" Whap!

Sienna said...

Too funny! I have never laughed so much reading cyberspace, Ivan you are simply a legend.

Love the Lost Okie Award, looks fantastic....and you know I was thinking the same thing JR-son-of-Ivan?
I really want to see the deleted post now.


islandgrovepress said...


Before I became a pretentious fop, I imagined classical music to be seventeen guys and girls all trying like hell to invent the guitar!

Once adopted into a really good family, I had to kind of show that I was familiar with at least one or two composers. If I heard something, I'd usually use the cover of Anton Bruckner, who seemed about as romantic as anybody else in Vienna, way back.

Half the time, I'd be right.

Some cool quotes about Bruckner:

In the war waged in Vienna between the factions of Wagner and Brahms, Bruckner strayed into the battlefield and became the only casualty."
-Erwin Doernberg

"Why did they burn Brünnhilde at the end?"
-Bruckner, attending a performance of Wagner's Die Walküre, became so completely immersed in the music he lost track of the narrative.
"Bruckner: half simpleton, half God.
-Gustav Mahler


But for a real mass, a real church experience, though somewhat pagan, I put on some tapes of Manue de Falla'w El Amor Brujo (brutal love) and go out of my mind with the flamenco riffs.

Why did they burn Broom Hilda? LOL.

I'll try out that station, Liz, though there'll be serious competition from Austin City Limits and the Kentucky Network for bluegrass.


islandgrovepress said...

Hi Pam,

I see you're getting some really cool comments about your doggie and kangaroo (sic!) photos around your farm.
One writer, perusing a somewhat fierce looking young Kanga, had said, "I hope that thing is tame!"

I wrote my now-deleted and slightly weasly blog right on blogspace and can't retrieve it now.
Just as well, I suppose. JR would have really come over with a squad of red-eyed molesters and miscreants to turn old Ivan into a girlfriend. Saw off length of pipe and give Ivan a ring.
Worse still, they may have gone right after Ivan and his ring.

What was it about old JRR Tolkien that I didn't trust? Heh.


Sienna said...

Ha ha, trust, Tolkien and rings..well maybe Archimedes knew something when he passed into the wide blue yonder...""Don't disturb my circles."

Pam said...

Never did trust that Bilbo Baggins.

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