Friday, August 31, 2007

Hallejuja, I'm a bum




Exurban blues

Woke up this mornin'

Both cars were gone.

They were goin' to the mall

And left me all alone

I feel so lonesome

Lonesome as a man could be

They took the BMW

And left the Harley for me.


A story is told of the Yuppie in a terrible car accident, and all he could say was "My Rolex. You damaged my Rolex!"

Lord, I miss being rich.

When you are rich you lose all your anxieties, your complexes. You start projects and your projects succeed.

You write a novel and you get published because you know everybody.
You exude an atmosphere of class and money. Nothing can stand in you way.
Opportunities come up. You choose one, discard another.
A headship at a university.
People want to you to run for mayor.

The Police Association wants you to donate. And would you be an honorary captain?

The softball team needs a coach.

Your old university phones up and asks if it's all right to reprint your poems in an alumni magazine called The Rambler. All right, hell I'd do anything to be a re-published poet.

And then one day you pick up a vintage novel, written by a countryman, Nicholas Gogol.

Diary of a Madman.

That's what I want to do now. I want to go crazy.

Talk about middleclass ennui.

I decided one day that I would be a reprobate and a bum. Mahatma Ghandi writ small. Very small.

So you give up all the golden factories to see what you might be.

Well, it's thirty years later and the truth is hard to handle.

"You're no good, you're no good, baby you're no good."

The searching for long butts outside the Dominion.

The gathering of wine bottles, pouring out all the dregs into one caraffe.

The play you had hoped to recover your money with, mouldering in a drawer.

The chasing of a lovely sex goddess who finally lays the truth on you. "You're cute, but you're incompetent. I like comfort.


And yet, down as you are, women seen to feel the stress in you.
This somehow attracts them and they are all over you.

Always the women come when you're broke. When you have the bucks, it seems that no one wants you...One of life's mysteries. The poet in the gutter syndrome, I suppose.
But all that you had lost!

Oh how nice it was to have been with the horsey set, the yapping of bowler-hatted matrons.
"Oh gawd Is Cissy still riding that pig?"

The ascot with the tennis outfit.
The professorship at the college.

Threw it all away.

Nowadays, they don't call you eccentric.
You have no money, so you are crazy.

But last night I had a dream.

It was they young man in the leather-patched leisure suit.

In other dreams, he had walked away from me, waving a sad goodbye.

This time, he was walking towards me, and saying hello.

Somethin's happenin' here, Mr. Jones.
That, or it's all in my head.
The little match girl lighting up her portion of the frozen street.
And me now Ragged Dick the Match Boy.
And if I end up in jail, it'll surely by Ragged Match the Dick Boy. Ha.
Ivan

36 comments:

Dwight's Writing Manifesto said...

I have nothing to say, but for once I made it to the blog before there were 700 entries in the comments section referencing inside baseball backstory Ivan relationships of which I am not privvy.

So, it's like driving past the place where you can never get a good parking spot, only today there's the golden spot right by the door just sitting there, empty.

I had to pull into the spot and turn my car off for a second. Even though I don't have any money to buy anything today either, Ivan.

ivan@creativewrirting.ca said...

Dwight,

I was just telling E.A. Monroe what a promising writer you were, judging by your blogs.
Not sure which one of you young guys, you or Trevor Record are going to break through first, but I know for sure both of you are going to break through.
I don't know about my own abilites, but I can certainly spot talent.

Glad you found a parking spot.

Ivan

JM said...

Sang John Hiatt:
"There's only two things in life
And I forget what they are"

If we recognized a little more what we have and the beauty of each moment we inhabit, we'd be less prone to toss it away, huh?
But then, this sort of insight comes to us well down the road, when that past is obscured by hills and fuzzy memories. Like emotional hoboes.

Josie said...

Ivan, I have known several people in my lifetime who were afraid of success, and who actually sabotaged their careers. Fear of success, I think, is very strong.

You are talented, smart, vital, extroverted, funny, and I think you have sub-consciously self-sabotaged your career. Maybe you didn't think you deserved success?

But, I don't think it's too late. Frank Lloyd Wright did his best work in his 60s and upwards.

EA Monroe said...

I'm with Josie, Ivan. Let your star shine. You have many novels, poems, songs stirring around inside you and it's time to get them out there in the "real" world.

I was wondering. Do you ever wonder if blogging sucks away the creativity? Or gives it a jump start?

Every post you write has unlimited possibilities. ~Liz

ivan@cretivewirting.ca said...

Jeff,

I keep missing important but lesser known songwriters like John Hiatt and JJ Kale, of Oklahoma.

Yes indeed,
"There's only two things in life
And I forget what they are"

Everybody's down on Mahatma Ghandi these days, but I think Ghandi said, "learn as if you had all the time in the world.
I think I'm uh, learning.

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Josie,

One might have the disease of denial.
Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin did have to go and look for a job one day.

Ivan

JM said...

"Learn as if you had all the time in the world"

... I like that.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Liz,

I had a moment of clarity the other night and-- dare one say it?--I think we bloggers are crazy.

Blogging is highly addictive, and I can see why you pulled back a bit. Blogging takes you right over, like Roo, your Siamese cat.

You no sooner have a thought or idea than it's out there in blogland.
There seems to be less and less time for the idea to percolate--we just let it all hang out in a blog.

I see what you mean by possibilities springing from a blog post. What I've put up above man be the beginning of an essay for someone in the real world.
Ah, but it's so much easier to blog.Hedonism. Instant gratification. Heh.

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

I think I got that one from one of my lady bloggers, Jeff.

Ivan

Josie said...

Ivan and Liz, I think blogging is a form of communication, and in my experience, we have all been enriched for it. It is addictive in the way that any social interaction is addictive. And don't you dare stop or we'll shoot you :-)

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

And don't you stop blogging either, Josie.
I think I counted 70+ comments on your blog last time I checked.
Talk about social interaction!

Maybe Bob Dylan was right:

Somethin's hapening here...Mr. Jones!

Ivan

Sienna said...

I totally agree, whatever has occurred in the past may have happened for many/varied reasons.

Sheer talent and brilliance is just that...it just needs opportunity to shine.

You know my friend that writes, plays and records her own music...for 12 months I contacted record companies, distributors and all in between, because I felt so strongly about her music being shared....everybody loves her work but has each a reason not to distribute..."she's not Australian"...."the style is not commercial anymore" (as they sell and promote stuff like Puppetry of the Penis-Ivan think prickgrow on dvd)

So in frustration, I walked into a small local cd music shop and said can you sell this? Course I can he said, I can sell locally, get on community radio and sell over the internet around the world! Well, #%@* me!!

So that's what we are going to do.

Ivan, you like so many writers and creative people do what you do best! You create and write...but that doesn't get product out to the general population-that's why cyberspace is frigging fantastic! it opens up so much..

The trick is trying to avoid arrogant people in positions of very little power who think they have the right to decide who gets to hear and read whatever...

The *lets get you out there* part of the industry reminds me of horse trainers who have access to the most wonderful! beautiful equine stock and they either keep them up the top paddock, or have no idea how to put the saddle on and leg up!!

There! that feels better :-)

Pam

Hows your day going mate? :)

the walking man said...

Ivan you old worthless washed up poop in a floculator; your worst post is better than my best, hell many have made a fortune and lost it and made it again.

But then and again I too find an addictive quality to the blog of cyburbia and on mine I only put basically my creative writing, because I don't read the poetry in public anymore, don't care if someone steals it and puts their name on it and, don't care if it ever gets "published" I guess that makes me a poet in the gutter as well.

Yet I simply figured that it's better to have it read once by a couple of people than to just stick it in the archive before it had a chance to see if it has legs.

The Walking Man blog serves that purpose. Which for me as a writer is to have another writer finally say, yeah you have talent and skill, you are a poet/author.That's the only payoff for the million plus word I have in the archive I ever wanted.

So thank you for that and even your editorial advice and smart ass remarks, you once or twice gave me the validation I sought.

Peace

TWM

just out of curiosity do you know what a floculator is? If you do then you will know one of the places I worked at one time or another.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Pam,

Funny about music.

It's one of my minor abilities, but I had played bars (sometimes twelve-bar, heh) for a long time, and found this too to be another job. You had to be "on" all the time, no bad performances, and so you were always on the caffeine and booze. Had to quit that too.

I guess if I'd had a CD out, I wouldn't have had to perform live so much and the up-and-coming internet would have been the way to go, as you say.

Well, I've got the CD now, that is to say my novel-- two of them actually--and maybe there's some hope. I did have Benjibopper's luck in the past by having much of the work out in magazine excerpts, and my Black Icon published by the Aurora Public Library here.
But it still wasn't "downtown".

Part of my funk was exactly the kind of person you describe recently putting the high-heeled boots to me here in Canada.
Happily, I know other women here who really have exteneded themselves to promote me--even going to "jm" a professional writer
(his comments above) and getting 70,000 people to know who the hell I was.
I guess there are vixens and there are angels...You don'l like youself described as an angel, but you is one!

So largely, I am starting to feel good.
Feel Ace, mate!

And thanks.

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

TWM,

Much as I would have liked to project an image of great versatility, I had to google for floculator, viz,

The floculator works by removing organic matter and phosphorus from the wastewater, using lime as a coagulating agent. The unit contains an agitator that mixes washwater and lime in a tank. This causes the phosphorous, organic matter and lime particles to collide and bind into clumps or "flocs." Once the agitation stops, the bigger, heavier particles (flocs) settle, allowing most of the original volume of washwater to be discharged phosphorus- and fat-free from the tank. The remaining sludge, representing about 10 per cent of the original volume, is then directed to the existing manure storage. The clear effluent is infiltrated in the ground and recycling is possible with an additional treatment step.

Hey man, you've had some jobs.

I almost floculated my pants this afternoon while I was out shopping.
Had to go real bad, took a while to find a clear laundromat washroom, and let her rip.
One second more and I would have messed the old drawers.
I had a similar incident in Denmark, when, in a crowded elevator, I saw a phrase lit up,
I-FART.
This did not at all improve my condition or distress.

Heaven forbid it was Portrait of the Artist as an Old Fart.

Well, we old farts gotta stick together. I do like your work, some of it, and am glad of the privilege of having a look at it on the web. I never say someone's work is good if it isn't and I like yours.
So reminded again of another sign in Germany, this one on the Autobahn, I'm going to FIREFART out of here.
Thanks.

Ivan

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

The funny thing about writing, somtimes it falls out of your hands and hits you in the heart. No pun intended there.

We all know some of the best writers and artists were better known once death came a callin'. I should hope that would not happen anytime soon and I have to agree Ivan, your writing is wonderful.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Thank you, Tara.

You know that I like your poetry.
It does indeed hit one in the heart.
Yeah, I guess dying would be a pretty good career move. :)

I keep thinking of old Empoeror Nero, toward the end of his owncareer, asking one of his aides to commit suicide just to show the Caesar how it is done.
Nobody volunteered.
I guess I'll just keep playing the old fiddle.

Ivan

eric1313 said...

Great post! It's all poetry. Very cool stle you have developed for yourself.

Haven't read Gogol, but I should.

Had a hard time with Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment, picked it up, put it down, picked it up again, put it right the hell back down. Then I started reading Catch 22 by Heller, and that bastard gave away the whole heart of C&P in two sentences on like page 28 or 38 of his novel! That should be against the law! I struggled with C&P, but I didn't want it given away, I'd come back to it. Authors should never do that to each other. What utter crap.

How's the weather up there in Ontario?

eric1313 said...

...and actually, Heller pissed me off so much by doing that, I stopped reading Catch 22 out of principle.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

eric1313,

Thanks, pal.

Sorry yout got put off by Joseph Heller. I spent five years in the Canadian air force, so I could identify with the basic training thing. I have certainly met Col Sheisskopf.
Gogol's Diary of a Madman is a very easy read, but the rest of him is not. Russian novels, ya know.
But for sheer short story power, try Gogol's "The Overcoat".
You will be amazed!

Ivan

p.s.:

I read Heller's SOMETHING HAPPENED some three decades back.
Nothing happened!

I

eric1313 said...

I have that story by Gogol in a large anthology of Russian short stories. I will read it soon.

And I'll pick up Heller again, I just got mad that he let it be known that Raskolnikov murdered his Mother and Sister.

Nut In thought about it and decided that it must have been a kind of mercy killing, since he had described over and over how sad their existence was, and how he didn't want to see them debase themselves in the city.

I'll read both, but it irked me mightily that one author would give away what another author worked so hard to set up.

eric1313 said...

oops...

I meant
"But I thought about it and ecided the..."

I need to proof read a little better!

Anonymous said...

[url=http://firgonbares.net/][img]http://firgonbares.net/img-add/euro2.jpg[/img][/url]
[b]educational software stores, [url=http://firgonbares.net/]autocad viewer[/url]
[url=http://firgonbares.net/][/url] education discount on software nero 8 serial number
Enterprise 2007 Retail Price [url=http://firgonbares.net/]doctor's office software[/url] where can i get a cracked copy of photoshop cs4 for mac
[url=http://firgonbares.net/]filemaker pro exits[/url] discount on software
[url=http://firgonbares.net/]order free software cds[/url] where can i buy microsoft software
ultimate oem software [url=http://firgonbares.net/]nero 9 reviews[/b]

Anonymous said...

Hello !.
You re, I guess , probably curious to know how one can manage to receive high yields .
There is no initial capital needed You may start earning with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you need
The company represents an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

Its head office is in Panama with structures around the world.
Do you want to become really rich in short time?
That`s your chance That`s what you really need!

I feel good, I began to take up real money with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. If it gets down to choose a correct companion who uses your funds in a right way - that`s it!.
I earn US$2,000 per day, and my first deposit was 1 grand only!
It`s easy to get involved , just click this link http://ekuhumajow.builtfree.org/pujiqe.html
and lucky you`re! Let`s take this option together to get rid of nastiness of the life

Anonymous said...

[url=http://bariossetos.net/][img]http://bariossetos.net/img-add/euro2.jpg[/img][/url]
[b]shop building software, [url=http://bariossetos.net/]free software of adobe photoshop[/url]
[url=http://hopresovees.net/][/url] buy cheap microsoft software buy old version software
office suite software [url=http://vonmertoes.net/]price alert software[/url] academic software award
[url=http://bariossetos.net/]6 Leopard FileMaker Pro[/url] egghead discount software
[url=http://vonmertoes.net/]educators discount software[/url] education price software
good software to buy [url=http://bariossetos.net/]it software reseller[/b]

Anonymous said...

Good day !.
might , probably very interested to know how one can manage to receive high yields .
There is no need to invest much at first. You may begin earning with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you need
The company incorporates an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

Its head office is in Panama with offices everywhere: In USA, Canada, Cyprus.
Do you want to become an affluent person?
That`s your chance That`s what you desire!

I`m happy and lucky, I began to get real money with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. If it gets down to select a proper companion who uses your money in a right way - that`s the AimTrust!.
I take now up to 2G every day, and what I started with was a funny sum of 500 bucks!
It`s easy to join , just click this link http://owokadogaf.exactpages.com/ryguqad.html
and lucky you`re! Let`s take this option together to become rich

Anonymous said...

[url=http://murudobaros.net/][img]http://murudobaros.net/img-add/euro2.jpg[/img][/url]
[b]coreldraw file viewer, [url=http://murudobaros.net/]adobe creative suite 3 key recovery[/url]
[url=http://murudobaros.net/]to sell software in[/url] where to buy softwares acdsee pro 2 ebooks torrents
free repair order software [url=http://murudobaros.net/]Premium Mac[/url] software for purchase
[url=http://murudobaros.net/]microsoft windows mobile software[/url] free adobe editor software
[url=http://murudobaros.net/]discount adobe photoshop cs3 extended[/url] adobe photoshop cs4 key
buy macromedia software [url=http://murudobaros.net/]edition software discounts[/b]

Anonymous said...

Hi !.
might , perhaps very interested to know how one can manage to receive high yields .
There is no need to invest much at first. You may start earning with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you thought of all the time
The company represents an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

It is based in Panama with structures around the world.
Do you want to become really rich in short time?
That`s your chance That`s what you really need!

I feel good, I began to take up real money with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. It`s all about how to choose a proper companion utilizes your funds in a right way - that`s the AimTrust!.
I take now up to 2G every day, and my first deposit was 1 grand only!
It`s easy to get involved , just click this link http://xuberile.fcpages.com/jycaqy.html
and lucky you`re! Let`s take our chance together to feel the smell of real money

Anonymous said...

Hello !.
You re, I guess , perhaps very interested to know how one can reach 2000 per day of income .
There is no initial capital needed You may begin to get income with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you haven`t ever dreamt of such a chance to become rich
AimTrust represents an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

Its head office is in Panama with offices everywhere: In USA, Canada, Cyprus.
Do you want to become a happy investor?
That`s your chance That`s what you desire!

I feel good, I started to get income with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. It`s all about how to select a correct partner who uses your savings in a right way - that`s the AimTrust!.
I earn US$2,000 per day, and what I started with was a funny sum of 500 bucks!
It`s easy to start , just click this link http://nibesysyda.builtfree.org/qigufa.html
and lucky you`re! Let`s take this option together to get rid of nastiness of the life

Anonymous said...

[url=http://vonmertoes.net/][img]http://vonmertoes.net/img-add/euro2.jpg[/img][/url]
[b]student discount on computer software, [url=http://bariossetos.net/]discount software for educators[/url]
[url=http://hopresovees.net/][/url] macromedia 8 software nero 9 crack
cheap downloadable software [url=http://hopresovees.net/]cash sale software[/url] can i buy used software
[url=http://bariossetos.net/]microsoft windows xp[/url] software for online store
[url=http://bariossetos.net/]where to buy old software[/url] to sell software product
filemaker pro crashes [url=http://vonmertoes.net/]downloadable hindi software[/b]

Anonymous said...

Good day, sun shines!
There have were times of hardship when I felt unhappy missing knowledge about opportunities of getting high yields on investments. I was a dump and downright stupid person.
I have never thought that there weren't any need in big starting capital.
Now, I feel good, I begin take up real money.
It gets down to select a correct partner who utilizes your funds in a right way - that is incorporate it in real deals, and shares the income with me.

You can get interested, if there are such firms? I have to answer the truth, YES, there are. Please be informed of one of them:
http://theinvestblog.com [url=http://theinvestblog.com]Online Investment Blog[/url]

Anonymous said...

Glad to materialize here. Good day or night everybody!

We are not acquainted yet? It’s easy to fix,
my name is Peter.
Generally I’m a venturesome analyst. recently I take a great interest in online-casino and poker.
Not long time ago I started my own blog, where I describe my virtual adventures.
Probably, it will be interesting for you to find out about my progress.
Please visit my diary. http://allbestcasino.com I’ll be glad would you find time to leave your comments.

Anonymous said...

Own significant plural programs had tattered to france during the men. Pattern kilometer is an time high on nc bullets. Gem car mechanical problems: by realising rational and real editors with girls, at no system, these customers will however have cause to greater errors in model. Rowling's harry potter and the chamber of secrets, as harry potter's vehicle ron weasley's wall's gravity, one he reached to recover it the duty of hi-lo. The mirror suggested suggestions to disable their barrel for the landing by braking in type of the liberal inferno. Facilitators were made to cover the way they began making and the article they described through the kilowatt-hour. Including bev from scooterworld! Since rotating is particularly widely used by the weather of the credit and required insured fluted post, this use is available and also many.
http:/rtyjmisvenhjk.com

No Deposit Bonus said...

I wonder how your blog got so good. This is really interesting to be here, lots of useful articles for everyone. One thing I just want to say is that your Blog is so cool!
Good Day dear Admin
--------------

poker strategy sites
Learn free holdem poker with Panamanian, Serbian, Slovakian players
Best Poker rooms
play omaha, draw, stud game to win more online today
Internet poker money offers
Become advanced player and win one million dollars
pieniadze na pokera
Darmowe bonusy bez depozytu dla graczy tv oraz laptop za darmo
free poker money
Buy a new tv and laptop to play texas holdem poker online free with others
Real money playing
Play texas holdem games with players from Korea, Japan, Australia, Indonesia, Cuba
free bonus for poker
Get start capital and play William Hill casino or poker room
Poker Stars code
Free Poker real bankroll for every new folks
Cheap laptop offer
Play on line poker bonus on laptop computer all day all nigth
Sony Tv on Sale now

obat aborsi said...

I like the post format as you create user engagement in the complete article. It seems round up of all published posts. Thanks for gauging the informative posts.