Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Lisa Nowak, you fly high in my books


Once or twice, I have lost seriously at love.

I mean seriously.

II too have been sexually obsesseded with someone who dishonestly dumped me for someone else , but at the time, the most creative response I could come up with was replays of that old Georgre Thorogood video, "I just came back to say goodbye."
That, or the fetal position.
It never occrurred to me to put on a diaper and go confront the bastards with pepper spray.

Says former astronaut Lisa Nowak ( who now wants her monitoring bracelet removed),

"It would have been very easy for me to permanently retreat into a world of personal sorrow, but my family and friends have given me a greater view about what is important in our lives," she said. "I look forward to resolution and closure for everyone."

I'm not sure what context Ms. Nowak's quotes were in, but I sure like the idea of, Ms. Nowak, uh, f*cking fate and not taking rejection lying down.

Talk about a creative response!

A man who last week interviewed Ms. Nowak said he had an other-wordly feeling about the whole thing.:
The interview was like a "chess game," Becton said. He said Nowak bargained with information, like her car's whereabouts.
"I realized I was dealing with somebody who was more intelligent than I was, more educated," Becton said. "I was having a very difficult time gaining any information from her."

Nowak's main interest during the interview seemed to be how much Shipman (his boss?) knew, he said.
"There are chunks of the interview, if not large portions, where I'm actually the one being interviewed by her," Becton said. "She was very calculating and methodical in the manner in which she would answer my questions."
Becton also mentioned the diapers, which had made Nowak a joke on comedy shows and around the world.

Whatever.

How to get back the one you love.

How to avenge oneself against the heretofore invisible lover.

I do believe Ms. Nowak's actions have helped me to stumble upon a truth.
You can have therapy (which is usually slanted toward separation)--or you can do something o-u-t-r-a-g-e-o-u-s. and not have to retreat into a sad world of personal sorrow.

Unfortunately, the shortest distance between two points is not a straight line.

I myself, have at one time decided I wasn't going to take rejection lying down, but the road to revenge and recovery, led me, unfortunately, to priests, pimps and police. I think the lady was in some sort of cult and I had to put my very being against this problem. Not to dramatize, but uh, to dramatize!
It took years and years, but finally, my wandering lady dropped her pimp lover.
I was so exhausted from the fight that I hardly had the energy to call her up.
And why?
Last I heard, she found still another Duke, and good luck to her.
I am tired of punching out or even jailing pimps who would trap my girlfriends.
Surely, I had been in the wrong crowd.
But damn. I lost $100,000 over this bit of hubris, drinking, thinking, scheming.
By the tinme I got rich again, I hardly noticed. There was only THE PROBLEM.
........................
Thank god I came across a transitional woman.
Luck seems always a woman and she came to me while I was at my lowest state, pouring on the love, gratis, free, because she was that way.
"Isis," she would say.
Isis for sure.

She somehow restored me to a semblance of manhood.
The woman I had been obsessed with had been worse than cruel.
Seeing me in my funk one day, she had said, "That's what happens when you f*ck around with us broads."
She had then retreated to the safety of her new husbands BMW, whose licence number I promptly jotted down.
Oh the sleuthing, the search for the car, and the Aparment of Horrror. Horror to me, anyway.
Found them and did violence to the guy...Good thing he was no bigger than me!

Oh Lisa Nowak, could I ever identify!
Shit, give me a diaper and a jockstrap.
I am ready to rock and roll.
##

44 comments:

leslie said...

Let's paaarrrrttttiiieee!! Rock on! ;D

Ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Hee hee.
(Actually, that'w what I'm doing right now, Leslie).

Ivan

Shesawriter said...

Oh...my...god....

I have been hurt too, and have had very colorful fantasies about getting revenge, but ... damn. Diapers, duct tape and, hell, I can't remember what else she had in her car.

All I can say is the guy must have been glorious in bed.

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Ivan, where is my drink... saunder over here and give me hug, eh?

Love, love is our worse enemy and best friend. It excites the body and mind and then drop kicks it into a pit of fire and brimstone. so we retreat, blame the world, shout our rantings and then hunt down the so-called loser that dare leave us.

Ahh, not me. Loves pain has stabbed me hard two times... and prince charming is lost, lost I say... but then of course there is always you Ivan..,::wink::

I say we gather, light a fire, and talk of love... all are invited. Then we can curse the heavens for our losses, have a drink and laugh at how love makes us comeplete idiots.

(By the way) Lisa needs some self understanding... be not a sucker for love but let it take you in and swallow you down; be lustful for love and finally be drenched in its taste.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Tanya,

High intelligence and a mad purpose.
Crazy for love!

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Ray Charles,

"Love, oh love oh careless love..
You caused me to weep
And you caused me to moan
And you caused me to leave
my happy home."

There she is, figure in foreground,slightly knock-kneed, like an Alaskan woman, like a lonesome woman calling herself lonesome.
and the man can do nothing at all about it.
Literally, they are f*cked.

Yes, let's build a fire in cold Alaska.
Keep each other warm.
Drink some pear punch
Fight off the sled dogs
as we dump in the woods
Snapping jaws.
Hot shit!

Drink.
Eat caribou meat. Smoking meat.
Become Indian
Wild in love.

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a whimper
But a bang.

Oh, moveable feast.


Ivan

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

See Ivan, I always leave a typo... you have me under.

it was suppose to be complete.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Tara,
I am a drunken pig.

Was it Andrew Marvel
who said, "Drink to me only
with thine eyes"?
It's been so long since I took an
english course. Or French.

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Whoops.

I quoted the wrong poet.

Drink to me only with thine eyes,
And I will pledge with mine;
Or leave a kiss but in the cup,
And I'll not look for wine.
Ben Jonson (1573–1637)
from "Song to Celia"

Ivan

EA Monroe said...

Love makes the world go 'round. What a wild and crazy ride!

Well, I guess one could say better safe than sorry, but where would all the great literature and art be then?

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Oh Liz, you are so right.

Songs of love and losss seem silly and soppy--until love happens to us!

Laced with love and unrequited love,
literature is quick.
Without love as a subject, literature would be dead.

And small wonder there are so many self-published novelists and poets--Passion. At all costs.
_____________

I find it hard to imagine a passionate astronaut...They have been such a bunch of ole boy dicks for forty years--"the village idiot shot up in a pressure cooker" (Vonnegut).
And now, finally a human being back from space and in love.

Ah Lisa Nowak, I love ya.

Ivan

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Oh Ivan, your sarcasm and wit... what does one do with you?

Ivan@creativewritring.ca said...

A Woodstock response out of Peanuts.

&*&*#@&%$#@&^$#@

the walking man said...

In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said: "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter - bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."

Stephen Crane

Now this is a love poem

peace

mark

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

::smirk::

Shesawriter said...

Ain't that much love in the world. LOL!

Donnetta Lee said...

As I have said before: there is a difference in being lust and in being in love. Gotta learn to tell the difference.
Donnetta

JR's Thumbprints said...

"You can do something o-u-t-r-a-g-e-o-u-s. and not have to retreat into a sad world of personal sorrow."

This is so true, Ivan. Unfortunately, I deal with this type of mentality every day. I'd rather choose sorrow, than have it forced upon me. No diapers for me.

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

And when love does happen, it should not be wasted.

T

Ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

TWN,
Ah well.
Some philosophers would do it.
Gnawing at one's own soul.

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

The Rose" is a pop song written by Amanda McBroom and featured in the 1979 movie The Rose, in which it was performed.

I kind of like the lyrics.

Amanda McBroom?

LOL.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Lust.

That gift that keeps on giving.

Also gets you in trouble with the game warden if you're after small animals. :)

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

JR,

Yeah, I suppose it takes balls to rob a bank or do a heist.
But then, to introduce an oxymoron,
Lisa had "balls" as well.

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Tara,

Aren't people charming.

A girl once said to me, "You took my bud of love and ground it into the dirt.
Jonie Mitchell. "You don't know what you've got till it's gone.

Ivan

Josie said...

Ivan, you are too funny. I have never known anyone like you. Are you sure you're Canadian? You have too much passion to be Canadian.

Ivan the terrible.

Sienna said...

I read about Lisa...she made the news here too...


I don't know how I would react if Peter fell in love with someone else, or just left me...I'm just not sure...I think it would be pretty devastating..

Donnetta, the love and lust reminds me of Woody Allen..:-)

"Love is the answer, but while your waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."...Woody Allen.

Pam

Josie said...

I love Pam's Woody Allen quote.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Josie,

I didn't know how Canadian I was till I visited my Jewish pal in Mexico.
Said Ruben, "You're so reserved, so Canadian, I can't stand you!"

So I guess you become Canadian by osmosis.
...But underneath it all-- the gloomy Slav who waits....Heh.

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Well, I hope poor talented Woody manages to find love outside his own family.
Might be a novel concept for him.

Ivan

Josie said...

YOU????

RESERVED????


It is to laugh...!

Heh, heh.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Josie,
Well, I had married into a family of high achievers, and they were sort of that way.
Canadian family members behave towars each other as if they were at a cocktail party... Chatting, circulating, playing darts. There are few displays of affection.
"The Englishman takes his pleasure sadly," observed the German Heine.

My father-in-law had been a a kind of Toronto bigwig, second to the Mayor and he had the kind of confidence that would make your poor anus snap at fifty paces.
I guess I was starting to ape him.
He wuould lecture me. "Why do you blurt?"
Ah, Slavic exuberatnce.

Ivan

Anonymous said...

Here is the plan: send this flower to four people that you want to have a good day. I picked you.
Please consider passing this to four people you want to have a good day as well as the person who sent it to you.
This is SO positive and there is nothing attached...
Let's continue to send this along.
Have a bright sunny day! (I know I picked more than four, and you can, too.)

OR Sometimes Slightly Scrambled!!

--Mabel Pearson, Newmarket

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Hi Mabel,

I am to lazy (selfish?) to do all that mailing, but maybe you'll get a response from some of my readers.

Ivan

(Your transom-stooping neighbour).

Trevor Record said...

I thought that Nowak was pretty rock 'n roll. Heck, I've wanted to go on road trips ending in vengeance over lost loves before. The diaper thing made it more hardcore, she was so intent even stopping to shit was out of the question.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Why do I think that Lisa Nowak is not a loser?

Okay, okay, she's married, has three kids, but there's something of the Eteral Feminine about her, some ancient avatar thing.

There is a bad 100-year-old book, titled SHE, by Rider Haggard.

Rider Haggard indeed.

Ivan

eric1313 said...

That's OK. When I seriously decided to start writing--during my first semester of college--my girlfriend Melissa gave me an ultimatum a month into writing: stop spending my time writing, or she would leave me. She wanted me to become one of two things, or both--an engineer (gffffawww!), or an ATM. She couldn't imahine why I would want to spend so much time alone. I wrote her a poem and dropped it in her mailbox one night, and the next day she called me up and said she never wanted to see me ever again, because, as she said, I had gone crazy.

Crazy enough to write a love poem of reconciliation to an ultimatum uttering be-otch. Crazy ennough to cry over it. But writing was really working for me, even if it won't make me rich, moneywise.

Oddly enough, TWM was in my first class, a comp class at the community college. Good times it was, indeed.

eric1313 said...

And I totally approve of Mrs. Nowak's decision. Love the part about how she manipulated the interviewer and psyched him out.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

eric1313,

Sorry to hear about the poem that exploded (Sorry gain, Bill Burroughs).

Oh wouldn's Tara (Inside our hands, outside our hearts) love you!

She is a poetess herself and really likes poets...I myself, am just knocked out over by her love poems.
We all gotta have that drink of wine.

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

eric1313,

Yeah Lisa's really something.

My God! There are people in the world more intelligent than us!

...Just a little crazier.

Ivan

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