Monday, August 20, 2007

The roadrunner and the municipal politician

If you bring home the Bacon--to read, that is--you are immediately struck by the brilliance of the man, this Francis Bacon said by some to be a co-author of some of Shakespeare's plays.

Francis Bacon was probably one of the brightest of Englishmen.

Also, at times one of the poorest.
Always about three years ahead of his income...a spell in debtor's prison. Plotting and scheming till he finally made Lord Chancellor, and for a long time, his troubles were over. Franci Bacon was sort a of Wiley E. Coyote who finally made it.

Well, I'll never make it to Lord Chancellor, though for a time, when I was running for mayor, some jokers would address me as "Your Worship." This would be acoompanied by a slap on the back.
"Buck up, f*ck up!"

I am surely the Wiley E. Coyote, of Canadian poitics, chasing that elusive Roadrunner, and if I ever catch that Beep-Beeping son -of -a--Concorde, I am going to personally sodomize the little bastard.

Yeah, hold still for it. Beep-beep your ass!

I have made huge investment in ACME, a company, surely Chinese, and probably retailed by Wallymart.

Through ACME I have had bounce-springs to augment my sprints, rockets to propel my pursuit, catapults to launch me to intercept that Beep-Beeping Avis Supersonicus, only to have me go off he edges of mesa, after which small puffs of me would go up in smoke; the rockets would put me into the direct path of transport trucks
And catapults that would fling too far, putting the Roadrunner immedialtely behind me, and Beep-Beeping for the road!

The Roadrunner is The Office. I've been running for Office for the past thirty years.
Just when I am about to grab a position, "Beep-Beep!"

Eintein says if you keep doing the same thing over and over again, with the same results, you are probably crazy.
This is not a novel concept for me. My poor former wife knows I've been a crazy son-of-a-bitch for a long time.
"But you're cute."

Time and again, I don ACME equipment (while congratulating myself on my slyness) and time and again I end up against the side of the mesa. And then I hear that maddening "Bee--Beep."

Little Madrechingador!
I am really starting go believe that I'd better not buy stuff from ACME any more.

Or not try to catch the Roadrunner in direct pursuit..

I tried for a while to have the roadrunner come to me, sitting on the road with a kangaroo rat in my hand.

Beep-Beep! Both Roadrunner and rat gone. I am almost knocked off the mesa with the draft from their passage.

Clearly, I have to learn to go around.

Not for nothing did I earn the cartoon namne of Eternus-Famishus-Famishus.

I am going broke in my pursuit of politics, in pursuit of the Roadrunner.

Of if I only had the engenuity of a Francis Bacon.

Bacon, always the scientist, probably would have recommended bird shot.

But I know for sure I'd have the luck of a Dick Chaney.

Ah for the days of aristocracy.

You didn't really have to do anything. Old money took care of everything.

Just stand there and look striking.




Sienna said...

The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.Bob.

I met some roadrunners Ivan...some of them just not worth chasing...Wiley Ivan far more talent than Roadrunner beep squeak....and be careful putting things in places not intended, sometimes it can backfire.:)

What a great and interesting world we live in, pork for tea.

Pam said...

Good news from Bob.


Lone Grey Squirrel said...

I never liked the Roadrunner. He was too smug in his invincible speed. What a show off!!!

I always hoped that he would one day end up in Wiley E. Coyote's stew. said...


I agree.

I'm going to do an Elmer Fudd and get that pesky Woadwunner!

Ivan said...

p.s. to Lone Grey Squirrel,

You are a scientist.

I thought I'd attract you with the mention of Francis Bacon, inventor not only of the modern English essay, but also of the scientific method itself.

Quite a dude for a frequent pauper and accused embezzler.


Josie said...

Ivan, Canadian politics are highly over-rated. As Groucho Marx says:

"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."

Start your own club. Keep everyone else out. Heh.

(I always preferred the little Martian.)

BTW, I have changed my template. Pop over and see what you think.


Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...


I am with squirrel. The road runner had a smugness about him. But the so did the coyote. Yhey both believed their existnece was for the better.

When it comes to politics, I am not sure you want to open that can of worms Ivan. I have a strong opinion about todays government. though I suppose the government was the same way back when too.... it is all too shameful.

Secret... my heart wishes for the times if 1912...ahh heavenly.

EA Monroe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
EA Monroe said...

Opps -- that was me deleting!

Hi, Ivan! Watch out for the falling anvil. Get this -- it's Josie's Day After Tomorrow. Our rain/thunderstorm we had late Saturday into Sunday was a category 1 hurricane -- the remnants of Erin reforming right over Oklahoma. Even had an "eye." We have tornadoes, not hurricanes! ~Liz said...


Canadian politics certainly overrated as witnessed today at Montebello, Quebec, where Mr. Bush came to visit.
Protesters by the thousands.

Homeland Security was the buzzword,even for Canada.

Canadian businessmen agree with the protestors!
Say "homeland security" just impedes business through unnecessary border hassles at the border.

the Big Three meeting continues and protesters-- who have been penned in-- continue to try for air time.
So do Canadian businessmen!

I don't think our Mr. Harper gets it!

Ivan said...


Poor Oklahoma!

High wind and rain damage almost in every county.
Did your home town, Norman--escape?

And then Dean says he will come visit Tomnorrow!

(Ah well. I think Al Gore, though a scrapper and a winner--can sometimes be a dick). It was freezing in Toronto this morning).

Ivan said...


l912 was the year they started to go against The Great Pirates who ran economies and union organizers began thinking of the little guy in the factory.

Ivan said...

p.s. to "inside".

Are you thinking of "Ragtime" by L.E. Doctorow?
Hard times.


Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...


I shall attempt this with no typos this time....smiles.

Actually, I was thinking about the romantic nature of it all back then. I know, I know, here I go again. But really, think about it. Life seemed simplier, although I am sure it was hard. I think of the long gowns, the tall hats on men and how the women had so much grace and the men lent their arms to the ladies.

Of course, I am sure there were vulgar men that should have lived with cattle instead of a lady.

In E.L. Doctorow's book everything seemed so brutal. Everything had to stir and cause problems, I suppose much like today. We still have those families trying hard and being put down because of it and the upper class family rising above just because they can and like the others resented for it. One big horror story after another, if you ask me. said...


Edwardian times were romantic, to be sure.
I am certainly thinking of the movie, My Fair Lady, with Audrey Hepburn and Richard Harris.
I am something of a Pygmalion myself, actually. Rags to riches because of the right accent...But then the Frog Prince in my background kept snagging flies!


Trevor Record said...

Hey Ivan. I know what your problem has been. You probably aren't anywhere near a scheming, back-stabbing, or greedy enough to get voted in. Too bad acme doesn't make a "sneaky politician" kit. (It would come with a vote-buying set and mechanical hand, for shaking long after your normal hand gives up.) said...




Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...


See, I was born in the wrong century. said...


I should really be writing this to a guy, but around l913, someone told the Kaiser to eff off and look what happened!
"I will send the Fokkers your way, Snoopy Dog, keeper of the flame!"


the walking man said...

Let the road runner run and let the coyote turn down his bed and get some sleep. It's all so shady anyway Acme got rich off the coyote's cash leaving him a pauper also and without and social security because chasing that damn bird wasn't a civil service job.

Personally I think I was born at exactly the right time. But the time didn't last long enough and i am ready to be rocketed off the mesa instead of the coyote while he recuperates, 'cept I wouldn't be chasing no damn bird.

just a 6am thought after being awake since 1.



Josie said...

Ivan, I feel rather bad. I didn't do the logo last night. I will do it tonight and post it on my sidebar.

What do you think of my new template? I rather like it. said...

The Walking Man,

You've pretty well summarized the situation. With incredible insight.

Ah insomnia. I get bouts of it too.
Sonofabitch. Good for nothing the next day. Had it when I was in magazines. "Why can't you write more, better?"...How you doo dat with one hour's sleep for nights on end. Also had to get up very early to commute by bus so the wife could have the car.
Ah well, there was always the friend in the glass overcoat.
Dylan Thomas: "Well, Johnny Walker.
You and I..."
I think we'd all be in straitjackets if we didn't drink--at least we scribblers.

Ivan said...


I've been concentrating so much on the pain in my own head that I'd almost forgotten that some sawbones had accidentally poked you in the eye with his stethoscope. Damn unpleasant, I'd imagine.
I like your template better than the other, but I feel that it must be more daring somehow.
Maybe it's just me. Had this notion for years that all nature and all art lean toward the abstract. I guess if you were to zap it up too much, it may end up looking like a magazine ad.
Actually it's good. Less "girly" than before.


TomCat said...

Ivan, perhaps you need to bractice by beep-beeping our Bush first. ;-) said...

Hi tomcat,

I would wager Bush is just the tip of the iceberg.
I have no doubt that he has been warned, "You go along with our s*it, or, the next time you walk over to your car..."


eric313 said...

Good luck in your future political endeavors.

It's tough to be a seeker, especially when what is sought after so often has to be bought. My friend's dad tried to run for mayor of his town (Roseville, MI), and there was no peace for them for a long while afterward--harrasment and intimidating threats late at night for years.

Could be worse, I know, but it wasn't enough for a man to recieve twenty something votes to several thousand and lose fairly gracefully despite the landslide.

The powers that were and still are had to make sure that no competition existed.

The bastards. Power in any way they can take it and keep it.

Yeah, I tend to distrust whoever the boss happens to be, new or old. said...

I had had my campaign office burned down.
They used to play hardball in the old days.


TomCat said...

Ivan, that's an interesting point. Clearly, Bush represents the ideologues at AEI and PNAC, but I think he's more an active participant that the tool he appears to be. said...


You might be right.

Oh that Project for a New American Century!

PNAC's credo is officially to muster "the resolve to shape a new century favorable to American principles and interests". PNAC states that the US must be sure of "deterring any potential competitors from even aspiring to a larger regional or global role" - without ever mentioning these competitors, the European Union, Russia or China, by name.

At least some of the most vociferous PNAC enablers are now out of jobs. And only about 25 per cent of Amerians support Bush and Cheney.


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