Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Blug Party







Hello, Little Girl.
We're having a hot tub party.
That's JR above, and Geewits with her wind-up fish.
Ah, c'mon, I can talk you into it, can't I?
No bikini?
No problem.
The Ukrainian always comes naked.
##

107 comments:

Liz said...

Cannonbaaaaaaaaaaall!!

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Ivan,

We may need a few more than those, otherwise we might be sitting on each others laps!

Tara

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Tara,
We need a bigger tub!

The club is too large!

Gonna rent out the Philippine Bowl.

Come on Monsoon!

Ivan

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Ivan,

Rent away but save me a place... if you do not mind.

Tara

ivasn@creativewriting.ca said...

Liz,

Wave right over the edge!

Soaked the dog and then he jumped right in.

Good thing JR's dog is part-retriever.
The other part in French.

Oh-oh, did I see someone with a camcorder?

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Covers self. No camera's ... whats the name of that old bond movie.... For your eyes only?


Tara

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

I'm over here.

Omigod, I think I saw fins.

Jacques Custeau in full scuba drag.

Damned Frenchies!

"Octopus, octopus," he keeps saying.
"That's no octopus," I yell out.
That's the lady of fable that you named your boat after.
"That's the nymph Calypso."

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Stand and point me in the right direction. I shall hide behind you, if you do not mind.

Tara

ivan@ reativewriting.ca said...

She was afraid to come out of the locker,
She was as nervous as she could be.
She was afraid to come out of the locker,
She was afraid that somebody would see!
(Two, three, four, tell the people what she wore!)

It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka-dot bikini,
That she wore for the first time today.
An itsy bitsy teeny weenie yellow polka-dot bikini,
So in the locker she wanted to stay!

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Oh no she does not want to stay in a locker... she wants come out and play, but she does not need more than one for an audience.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Okay, okay.
I'll get rid of the frog prince with the camera.
Here, I had on this nice pornstache.
San Francisco.

Yoo-hoo!

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Then what... will he hate me in the morning?

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Men appreciate not only sex.

They also appreciate beauty.

Ah, Venus on the half-shell.

Time in a Botticelli.

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, they say.

And sex ... well it can be quite wonderful, but after one needs more than just that. Heaven forbid, bordem sets in.
Physical attractiveness, it all fine and good, but give me something more tangible.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

They broke our reverie.

Aw, always Scrooge come callin' at the front door here.
Creditors at my doorstep.
Bankrupts make lousy lovers.

Gotta towel off and face the real world.

'Scuse me. Oooh. That was nice!

Ivan

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Ugh!!!!

Josie said...

I'm not even going to touch the last line of your post with a ten--foot pole.

Did I just say that??

I see the party's at Ivan's again. Can I bring my rubber ducky?

Heh.

geewits said...

I had a bad feeling about posting the spa pictures! And I should warn you that I don't like to share my pool toys.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Josie,

I am the ten-foot Pole.

(I wish).

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Josie,

Yes, bring your rubber duckie.

And, to risk an oxymoron, your sexy yellow puddle jumpers?

We can galumph around, swoosh, swoosh, glump!

Ivan

http://www.creativewriting.ca said...

geewits,

I stole your spa shot.

I knew that would come back and haunt me, especially with my tendency towards rococo humour.

I still say watch out for periscopes. You never know what to expect from Dieter, the angst-ridden German.
Achtung!

Ivan

leslie said...

I'm bringing my spare tire. HAH!!!

EA Monroe said...

Ivan, way to go! I remember your last wild 'n crazy hot tub party that splashed over into my place and into Josie's. JR had lost his yellow rubber duckie, too!

I hope the cop Josie chewed out this morning doesn't barge in and bust us! I'll have to stash my crack. Hah! Have fun with that one! ~Liz

the walking man said...

Everyone move closer together here comes the walking man aka fat ass in a speedo.

Josie said...

The cop was waaay cute. He's welcome to join the pool party. Gun optional. Heh.

the walking man said...

Tara what did you do?

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Leslie,
What if the lifeguard booms out,
"Hand in all flotation gear!"


Ivan

Anonymous said...

Liz,

Will have to do a carom, as in billiards.
Rosie O'Donnell was picked up at the border with thirty pounds of crack.

Ivan

http://www.creativewriting.ca said...

The Walking Man,

Omigod, watch out for drugged bikers from the club across the road. They might do an Altamount or Monterey '69 rock concert on you, fat guy in a speedo...Beat you with pool cues.
Upset Gracie Slick of the Aiplane.
"Someone's doing a weird!"

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Josie,
Oh the brutality of those boot-clad feet! How can you control yourself!

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

I'd better explain that.

Some women might come to cop a feel. Josie felt a cop!

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

TWM,

Tara tells Ivan all men are perverts! :)

Ivan

the walking man said...

Guess, by Tara's standards I ain't a man then, just a fat guy in a speedo who ain't afraid of the Hell's Angels, not even the Canadian ones...eh. See I can speak the Canadian language eh.

Peace

mark

ivan@creztivewriting.ca said...

TWM,
I guess I was putting words in Tara's mouth. I think she just doesn't like young guys all that much.
Watch out, Walking Man of The World!

Canadianisms.

Quebecois:

What yout call dat t'ing dat bash his face against de tree?

Le Woodpecker?

Lol.

Ivan

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Oh what the hell.

Fat guys welcome at the hot tub party.
The girls might pinch and tuck at you.
Rub your belly for good luck.

Ivan

Chris Hansen said...

I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline. We're doing a new series on "To Catch A Hot Tubbin' Blogger." Are you surprised? Why did you do it? We caught you in the act, periscope and all.

JR's Thumbprints said...

Don't worry Ivan. They have no jurisdiction in Canada.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Tabernac!

Ah honest-to-god correspondent from NBC!
Hello Chris Hansen!


What god has wrought.

Our party has made waves.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Come on now, JR.
Your hot tub picture is on the road to notoriety. :)

See what happens when I pick up o a wild idea of yours in the middle of the night and use it in a blog?

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

should read "on a wild idea of yours..."

Ivan

Josie said...

Up periscope.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Josie,

I think I'll send the quarks an email.
Aquatic quarks. Lol.

I think I'm going to have a beer.

Ivan

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ivan@creativewritting.ca said...

Oh, I don't know.

Why not?

JR just made a dick out of me.

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

POWER FAILURE AT MY BUILDING, Thurs. Sept 6. THEY WILL REPAIR NOON, LOCAL TIME.

PROBABLY JUST AS WELL, THE WAY THINGS HAVE BEEN GOING. :)

IVAN

benjibopper said...

so do the finns, count me in!!

(just call me risto, honourary finn-man. together we can sauna, swim, and dis the russians.)

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

I did nothing. I like all men, just perfer ones with class. Now waling man, I love your writing, so you can sit by me but I am wearing some shades. Your speedos glow in the dark!

Next time maybe we both should wear orange eh?

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

See Walking man, your speedos are so bright I spelled your name wrong!

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Finns run naked in the snow and beat each other with birch-boughs.

Don't know why they do that.

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

The Fat Man cometh.

Ivan

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Hmm, naked in the snow.... now I walk barefoot in it sometimes. But naked ... I shall have to think about that.


i see no fat man ::peers over shades::

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Ah, he'll be by.

Even if the local Angels threaten to beat him with pool cues instead of birch boughs.

He no afraid of Canadian Hell's Angels, he says.

Ivan

benjibopper said...

I'll tell you why, but you won't understand until you try it. It's the best feeling in the world, that's why. Those extreme temperatures don't just exfoliate, they bring dead skin back to LIFE!

might even revive that career of yours, but i don't believe you're on life 9 just yet. maybe 7, which gives you two more rounds of brilliance.

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

::scoots over:: I don't mind he can sit here... All are welcome.

ivan@creativewriinfg.ca said...

Got it, Benji. (You copying, Tara? Heh).
"...they bring dead skin back to LIFE!

...Like Tara says in her last comment re The Walking Man?, ::scoots over:: I don't mind he can sit here... All are welcome."

Whee. We can beat each other with birch boughs.

Heh. Come to think of it, I have been a bad boy. :).

..................

About my saying that this here cat is on life #9 and counting, thanks for the whiskers-up, Benji.

Ivan

EA Monroe said...

To Catch a Predator, Fly Fishing for Beginners, Forecasting the Cost of Chemical Dependency (some of Hansen's books). Ohmigosh, Ivan, do you think some "google keywords" set off warning bells somewhere?

Hey! We might see you on Dateline.

You can tell the world you are running for Canadian Optimus Prime Mister (not just mayor)! Btw, I'm still voting Christopher Walkin for President. ~Liz

Donnetta Lee said...

All I can say at this point is: Unbelievable.
Donnetta

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Liz,

I think Chris Hansen plays in a rock'n'roll band.

That JR and his vagaries.
Next time he'll sign himself as Q, out of StarTrek, that other mischief-maker.
But then what if that really was Chris Hansen...Oh hell, you can fool me five times. Shucks, I could run for President...At least I could try. You listening, Arnold?

JR's next book: Trout Fishing in Ontario.

*&^%$#$%^^%$%%%%%%%%

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Donnetta,

Hunter S. Thompson says "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
Well, my name is Pro.

...Let's crank this sucker up to a hundred comments!

You out there Eric1313?

Ivan

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Okay, okay I am back... was I missed... and who took my goggles... walking man was that you?

the walking man said...

nope I was the one that untied the bow of the bra top to the yellow polka dot bikini...goggles are more Ivan's thing.

Peace

mark

the walking man said...

Uhhh Ivan i have Canadian relatives well armed and Detroit neighbors in need of a vacation now that they are off parole and have a few scores to settle with bikers.

But beyond all that I fear nothing, not even fear itself.

Now fat ass in the orange speedos is getting ready to stand on the edge of this thing and do a belly flop.

oh yeah and

Peace

TWM

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

::covers face::: bellllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy flopppppppppppppppppp!!!! Incoming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Ivan!! Give me back my googles!

Anonymous said...

Splish-Splash.

Welcome back,Tara.
Hey, you didn't bring Eric1313 with you.
I thought you guys, being both poets, would try some new forms, uh, like digital.

I stole youg goggles because I am a deep diver (Like Jacques Custeau).

Damn Frenchies!

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Walking Man,

I dive deep--and fancy-- with my stolen goggles.
When Dashing Jacques goes down, he...

Oh-oh. There goes my General rating with the blogs. :)

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Avast!
Torpedo wake.

Auuuga!

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Okay, okay.
Here are your goggles.

Ever-vigilant Ivan now switching to binoculars.

Periscope sighting.

What famous Indian chief said "damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead"?

Ah well, that's what I get for a community college education.

I can't even spell fock.

ivan

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

woohoo!! Down periscope!

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Shiver me timbers
And blow me down.

Red sky at morning
Sailors take warning!

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

::hip shake:::

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

By the way Eric has been a tad busy as of late. Perhaps he will show his head later this night.

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

walking man I just realized you sent me hunting after Ivan for my goggles because wanted to make your speedo escape from me for undoing the Bikini strap.

::towel smack::: how'd you like that!

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

I got kicked out of a Texas party for this:

Well smack a fat man's ass!

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Ha! I won't kick you out, but would you please tie the strap back?

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Hey Walking Man.

This is a frontal model!

Button hooks!

Millinery fasteners?

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

I'm going for a drink... be back in a bit. Anyone care to join me?

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Well, my liquor cabinet is bare.

Like us!

The Walking Man got smacked.

Maybe he can offer us some.

Or some Ritalin, or Tarvin--there's all sort of stuff in his medicine cabinet. :)

How dry I am!


Ivan

Donnetta Lee said...

And yet I repeat: Unbelievable!
Donnetta

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Yes, Donnetta.

Here am I alone in the tub, and it finally hits me:

How did I clear out the room so fast?

I am overexposed!


It's like I joked to my two-year-old son many years ago: "You are so immature!"

I think we've hit National Lampoon standards--but at least they made money!

Gotta get back to that Blues Brothers groove. Where is John?

Ivan

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

I am back... I have the smoothest of red velvet wines and I am ready to relax... ahhhh... warm waters melt me like butter!

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

"Walk right in
Set right down
Baby let your mind roll on."

Oh, thanks for the drink.
Been kinda lonesome here, but Donnetta did drop by and said she couldn't believe...

Here I was , practising tongue-twisters from Broadcasting
101 under water (Glug):

Betty Botter bought some butter,
"But," she said, "this butter's bitter.
If I bake this bitter butter,
It will make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter -
That would make my batter better."
So she bought a bit of butter,
Better than her bitter butter,
And she baked it in her batter,
And the batter was not bitter.
So 'twas better Betty Botter
Bought a bit of better butter.

Glug glug.

She sells seashells down by the seashore.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

With silver bells and cockleshells
...And one friggin' tulip!


In Florida, I used to go "shelling" for turnip whelks.
Wow that's a turnip with attitude!

Must be my hot-dog diet of late.
I am turning into a hot dog.

(Speaking of hot dogs, you gotta check out Josie's site).

Must be the heat lamps.

I am fast succumbing.

Ivan

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

lol Ivan .... you sure you didn't drink any of my wine?

the walking man said...

I liked the ass smack...shows how much I matured because didn't feel it....but here Ivan tar to go with your wine and melt better than butter...have some ten mg Of Valium I take four at a time and some 8 mg of Zanaflex...I take those to wash the Valium down with and heres an 80 of Cymbalta...capsule swallow with wine...and i can certainly spare y'all some 600mg Neurontin's...I prefer 4 of those at once to to get that no nerve pain response...lets party like it's 1999 or would that be 1969?

orange looks so good on me no one will ever mistake me for a polar bear!

Tara what's that over ther====>


twm does the front bra closure with one hand that never forgets old skills.


hahahaha

peace

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Oh My goodness walking man I am shocked! lol


:::grabs Ivans towel and ducks behind the tree::

Help? Help? Little help here, please?

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Lucy and the Sky with Diamonds

ohhh ohhh

"Relax your mind,
Relax your mind
And you'll live
a long time
One time
You gotta relax
your mind..."

Ridin' along in your automobile
With your hands
on the wheel.

One time
You gotta relax your mind

Relax your mind
Relax your mind
And you'll live
a long time
One time
You gotta relax
Your mind.

Hey, that's good wine.
But why am I hallucinating?

Lucy and the sky...

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Why am I hallucinating?

I am Pavlov's dog, salivating over what The Walking man has to offer.
He says,

have some ten mg Of Valium I take four at a time and some 8 mg of Zanaflex...I take those to wash the Valium down with and heres an 80 of Cymbalta...capsule swallow with wine...and i can certainly spare y'all some 600mg Neurontin's...I prefer 4 of those at once to to get that no nerve pain response...lets party like it's 1999 or would that be l969?


Jeesus,

Dr. Owlsley has nothing on you, man.
You are a walking pharmacy.

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Tara,
Get out from behind that tree.

You could be Daphne, and I Apollo.
...To get away from him, she turned herself into a tree!

Poor Apollo.

Not even a knothole!

Does all this sound Greek to you?

Ivan

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Ivan, I have no idea why you would be hallucinating.. of course there is always all those pickles that Peter Piper picked... how many did you eat?

the walking man said...

Reminds me of the time I was going home on leave from Philadelphia and dropped a hit of fresh windowpane LSD and drove from Philly to Detroit.

They don't make recreation like that anymore

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Inside",

That's so cute!

...I had the entire jar.

Can't believe I ate the whole thing! Musta been a mushroom or two in there. Darn Chinese inspectors!

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

lol pun intended...but no... apollo and daphne... love but from such hate.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

TWM,

Philly to Detroit?

That's a long gig, man.

And all the uphostery coming out houndstooth and sparkle. :)

Ivan

the walking man said...

blue like a winter snow
black like the silhouette of the trees.

I want you to remember me not that way

Natalie Merchant

I want you to remember me like a wave from Posieden.

in orange speedos

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Love Ms. Merchant walking man. Great music when in the thinking/feeling mood.

the walking man said...

Naw just one of the things I did that should have killed me but didn't, it was more like driving through a John Wayne movie.

Only I didn't know who was directing and whether I was a cowboy or Indian


maybe I'll ask the shrink next week that ought to get him talking

the walking man said...

Tara

she like you
youse both is da' bomb

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Daphne may have turned into a tree, but Apollo still got his love. He loved her no matter her state and in the end Daphne was glad to be held in such a manner.

Oh sweet lord!

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Aww, Mark, I think you are as sweet as a fresh picked peach ripened by the summer sun and ready to be eaten.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

You guys are cracking me up and Natalie Merchant is highly evocative.
Looks like we're going to break l00 tonight.

I am starting to flag.
You kids are too hip for me.

What time is it getting to be?

This is a bit like a trip.

But the old eyelids are getting heavy.

I'll be a doormouse tomorrow if I'n no already.

The Mask of Zorro!...zzzzzzzz

Ivan

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

You guys crashing on me? If so can someone hand me a towel, so I can change?

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Night Night everyone....

Sleep well and love easy....smiles

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Tara's already got my towel.

Ah, hell, here's linen napkin.

Omigod.
My penis droops!

I am tired!

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Like what you said about Daphne and Apollo, Tara.

Hoo ha. I gotta get some rest.

Good night Tara, and all that may have watched this surreal programme.

And godspeedo, Mark.

I'm outta here.

Ivan

the walking man said...

it is late but I have to get a nerve block shot into my spinal cord later this morning and I prefer to be tired when the puncture the cord, helps me be perfectly still so they hit the right spot,

finished the dog and bear tonight too so maybe i am wound down enough now...here Tara here's a pair of my clean black under wear (44's) and a clean tank top xxx large and one safety pin.

sleep soundly Friends

peace

mark

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

...And so to bed.

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