Saturday, January 26, 2008

Brilliant Career Move--All I have to do is die.

Waiting for Blogger to put up the picture.
I tried something fancy this time, got the picture off a flikr. Hope it works.
It was the picture that gave me the idea;

I must make a brilliant career move.
All I have to do is die.

I mean it worked for Hank Williams, probably the best writer of songs in America...No kidding. Old Hiram Williams. Yes! Dead by 29, after hundreds of songs and much fame.
It worked for James Dean, and Harry Chapin (Rememer the song, Taxi?); it worked for Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison.

And now poor Heath Ledger.

"You will not achieve fame until after you die," said my sailor-suited Women's Lib copyeditor at the Canadian Magazine."Thanks," I'd said.
"Now will you edit my book so I can have some fame while I'm alive?" "It'll cost you big bucks," she had said.
"I got big bucks,"I told her...and I did at the time.

Well, the big bucks got me published, but not in the way I wanted to.
The book's success led to still another job. A newmspaper columnist.
"Stick to politics," they told me.
I hate politics.
It has a bad smell to it.

I have written another book.
I need a success, big-time.
But it seems all I have to do is die.

The Emperor Nero, caught in a parallel situation, asked a number of of his aides if he would show the emperor how to commit suicide. "I am afraid I would screw it up."
Nobody volunteered.

Very likely, nobody's going to show me either. :)

My mother is a hunded years old.

Egad. Another thirty years?

I just can't wait to get famous!



ea monroe said...

And why does it always seem to happen right around the age of 27, 28, 29? Something an astrologer calls a "Saturn Return."

Get busy writing your next novel, Ivan! ;-) ~Liz

ea monroe said...

PS -- I forgot... get busy writing that "screenplay" for the stage or movies! ~Liz

ivan said...


Nose to the grindstone.

...Sure get a sore nose that way. :)


p.s.: middle ditch loves Siamese cats. (She comments a couple of my blogs back...Wish I had your Roo story on hand so she could read it).

ivan said...


Sez "middle ditch" in the blog just behind this one,

Oh I know everything about Siamese cats. I had several and I absolutely adore them. They are the only cats who will travel with you everywhere and stay loyal to you, not their territory.

Episode ten is posted.

Donnetta Lee said...

Well, I guess I don't have to worry about dying right away then. I've passed the critical stage of 27, 28, 29...still alive. Still unsuccessful. Hey, maybe I'll be a long liver with a crummy career. 50% of the dream realized is better than none. Right?

ivan said...

Fifty per cent is a pass.

ea monroe said...

Hey, Ivan, I'll check out Middle Ditch's episodes! Maybe I can find that blog post in my blog post files and send it to you. I'm still considering the MySpace page, too. ~Liz

Lana Gramlich said...

Perhaps you need to fake your own death (but you didn't hear it from me. ;) Personally I suspect that fame is highly overrated, although it would be nice to earn just a few extra sheckels through my paintings, just to cover unexpected expenses (like the recent tranny rebuild.)

Josie said...

Don't die, boychik. We like you better alive than dead. We don't need you to be a legend.

What am I saying... you already are a legend.


And stay away from that aftershave lotion, or you will be a legend.

ivan said...


By all means send me the wonderful piece about you and your mischievous Siamese cat, Roo.
Everybody loves animal stories and I'm sure Middle Ditch, who knows Siamese cats and their devious ways, would get a kick out of your story if I posted it.
I mean this space is, in part, Island Grove Press, facilitator of great stories.

ivan said...


Hank Williams III:

"Lay off that whiskey
Leave that cocaine alone."

Actually, it was the after-shave I had been eyeing.(hell, I was stuck!)
Happily, a good friend came in with a sh*tload of groceries and an offer to take my nighclubbing.
Hey, does a cat have a tail!
...Was way overdue for a blowout, and a free night on the town which included Lynnard Skynnard-type rock and roll bands was just too cool.
Ulysses. Wandering again.
Tended by gentle nymphs. Hey!

ivan said...


My sixth sense tells me you will sell a painting this year.
I have no doubt that you have sold others.

ivan said...


This is a year ringing with promise.
You might just sell a painting (again?).

...Josie, our correspondent here, is a wonderful water colourist.
You two might have a lot in common.

ivan said...


I just got double-googled.

Charles Gramlich said...

Maybe there's one other way. Make someone else die. Preferably in some ritualistic fashion mixed with cannabalism and fetish behavior. Of course, you might end up on death row and die. Or you might just live in infamy in prison. But of course there is always a cost to fame.

ivan said...


Ah, my loosely-structured mind.

I think it was Manet who said "guard your naivete'".

And was it Matisse who said "some days I just want to take a machine gun and shoot everybody."
Strangely prescient.
One madrechingado of a way to attain fame, though I find the Druid ritual thing strangely fascinating.
Maybe it's because I bedded one witch too many?
I feel so jealous of the late and great Stanley Kubrick and his "Eyes Wide Shut."
Devil did the complete movie before I even scractched the surface, following my own research into these matters.

...And how's that for dropping a Frankenstein on the table?

A little bit of Dogbert in all of us. Fame. World domination

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

What is death, just another field we must level in order to see what we need, get what we want, and find that is was just the same as living.

Oh Ivan one that has had it all, perhaps the house you must build is in your heart and only after doing that will our good friend karma come home to you.

Course, what do I know. I am just as invisible as anyone else. But that is by choice. Are you choosing the same because you fear to lose or fear to gain?

You know what kind of writer you can be. Now just write, the rest just falls into place.


TomCat said...

Ivan, dieing is a bad idea. After two or three days, you'll smell so bad that your friends won't want to associate with you.

ivan said...


You sure have a great way of encuraging a person.
Set him on fire, actually.

ivan said...


I think I am already there.

Reverting to the ethnic quotient and eating cobassa in the absence of anything else.

Sure drives the friends away. LOL.

Donnetta Lee said...

Ivan, you could die and come back in three days. I've heard that's been done. Talk about fame!

ivan said...

Sea of Galillee.

You call that a lake?

I'm from Canada.

Shesawriter said...

I'm still reeling over Ledger's death. It's just a damned shame. Nobody should die at 28. I feel so bad for his little girl.

ivan said...

Hearbreaker all around.

I think he was pretty depressed about his marriage.

Donsie said...

I believe to think positive and to believe that you are the best.. then you WILL be the best!!

ivan said...

Hi Donsie,
I used to be that way when younger.
Would irritate my profs.
Prof would say, "I want to take you over to the squash court and give you a good trouncing."
And I'd say somthing doubly irritating, "You look like a squash."
This would lead to low marks, but high publishing in the college magazines.
Now I'm starting to find out that true writing success takes a bit longer.
But yes, if serious about writing, one should never doubt one's writing ability. This should be intact.

ivan said...

Post Script to TomCat.

News story:

Gordon B. Hinckley, President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Is Dead at 97

Does this career move help Mitt Romney?
Just askin'

Middle Ditch said...

It wont be long before I'm gone. I smoke roll ups, drink a litre of (my own made) wine every night and I bite my nails.

Only a few will remember me for a while and then I'm forgotten, dust, full of maggots ... No wait ... I am going to leave my body to medical research!

Heard there is a chronic shortage and thus no funeral costs for my nearest and dearest. Hurray!!

ivan said...

Middle ditch,

Not to worry.

I have a friend five years older than me (and I am very old).

At seventy-five, he just had his first novel published.
And he is so proud!

For a while, I was his mentor.
Now he is playing catch-up with me.

I am meeting my own turtles, this old hare.

But we run all the same, we white rabbits.

TomCat said...

Whatever cobassa is, I think it must be strong.

ivan said...

"Strong,"(he said,with an accent);
"Strong, like bull!"

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