Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The cowboy devil --and not from Brokeback!


The night was cold, and dark and still
There was a cross upon the hill

(from The Klan, by the Travellers)


Jesus.
Hemingway used to say, "You're Death, you bastard. I can smell your rotten breath."
Papa seemed to sense death at every turn of him mammoth life.

I am no Hemingway--generally lousy at sports, though a fair drinker and much-overrated sexual acrobat--but I must say that I have been feeling very much like a belled slave this past fortnight, copmlete with Valkyric Klansmen chasing me all over the hill.

Woke up last weekend with memory at the most rudimentary level. I could no longer think, let alone type a blog.

Who me? God's chosen?

Yes, you! Alvin and the Chipmunks seemed to chime in.

Charle Brown!

I have heard the stock joke( by now) that death is nature's way of slowing you down.

Maybe it's that "Kissing Sweet" Scope I've been drinking,...If it was good enough for Stephen King when he was
really obscure, maybe it will have been good (and cheap) enough for me.

Anyway,

I've got to be a neater bloke, like John Lennon used to say. "The tea in the tea caddy, the pot in the pot-bag" and the medicine int he medicine ches where it belongs.

Good thing I had blogger Josie standing by as a medical consultant.

And some good friends who came by with really good Niagara wine to get rid of ll those poisons.

I used to have the digetive processes of a starfish.

"Not at seventy you don't!" from the high-seated Klansman.

"You do that again, we's gonna come down that hill again and find the nearest tree."

"Yes, Boss."

Once poisoned is enough.

"Friggn' idiot," I thought I heard one of the Vlkyric riders say as he joined the others.

##


27 comments:

benjibopper said...

oh Ivan, I tried to warn you about that scope. Seriously man I've seen too many queen street squash-brains, it's bad bad news. stick to alcohol, it's worth the extra bucks (even if it's niagara wine). stay well, 70's still young. you've got 20 years to catch grandpa and he was in the war.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Damn.

So many shoes dropping all at once around here.
Amanda Marshall: "This old world keeps spinining and spinning, it's a woner we don't all fall off."

...Ah well, the Ant Hill Mob (Ivan't recue team) just brought in a case of l2. Hell, I'll even drink Molson product atter that last scare.

Charles Gramlich said...

I remember a bit more of an iron constitution in my past as well, and now the iron has turned to burnt magnesium.

ivan@creativewiting.ca said...

Thanks, Charles.

...Those little slowdowns.

No more brushing of my teth with Drano. :)

benjibopper said...

here's to the ant hill mob!

ivan@creatiewriting.ca said...

Thanks, Benji.

Weren't for those miniature mobsters in those proto -Chrysler Cruisers out of the "Thirties", I think I would have surely taken the pipe.
Strang flashes the past, little mini-deaths. Yes, thank God for the Antill Mob, that is to say, Ivan's personal rescue unit out of the past.
Jesus. What a ride this weekend has been!

Lana Gramlich said...

Life is a sexually transmitted disease that's fatal in 100% of cases.
Sorry for the absence again--had some back problems for a while. Better now!

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Pretty hard to disagree with that, Lana.

Donnetta Lee said...

Just so glad you're getting back on track. Many thanks to the anthill mob. Stay well. Gets lonely around here when you are under the weather. Benji is right. You've 20 more years to go--at least!
Donnetta

ivan@cretivewrting.ca said...

Thanks, Donnetta,

The old chassis is rocking a bit,like some French movie about a shiwreck, horns blowing frenitically over the storm and spray, but I made it to galley anyway and am making inroads into the Cookie's leftover Swiss steak, and I'm staring to feel better already.... What's that they're lauching there... a lifeboat?
Hey, you're not supposed to eat before swimming..

Here's hoping we keep dry.

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Smiles.... hello sweet Ivan How are you?


Soft love,
T

Anonymous said...

...Am a little bit under the weather, Tara.
Hell, it's even affecting my spelling.

I am a little bit siq
Heh.

ivan

the walking man said...

empty a can of sterno into a dirty sock squeeze out the liquid and it will fuck you up faster than a two dollar ho who needs to get to the next customer.

course do it twice and it will kill you...better to go hunting with dick cheney.

Peace

mark

Josie said...

You sound as if you're starting to feel a bit better, Boychik. Don't drink mouth wash anymore.

Please!

Anonymous said...

Kissing-sweet breath!

Actually, staight beer now.

Ivan

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Mark,

I gotta stop draining the radiators off Caterpillars.

Certainly gets the Italin suprintendents mad at you.

:)

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Ivan,

Please tell me that you are taking care of yourself. You are making me worry about you. Too many care for and about you for you to not care for yourself.

smiles sweetly:::

T

Anonymous said...

:)

"Besides all that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?"

Better now, but eye-hand seems a little off.

Ivan

Anonymous said...

Strange brew's killin' what's inside of you.
She's a witch of trouble in electric blue
In her own mad mind she's in love with you,with you.
Now what'cha gonna do?
Strange brew's killin' what's inside of you..................

[cream]

demons be gone............

benjibopper said...

ahhh, clapton.

TomCat said...

Was Josie able to provide some literary Viagra? ;-)

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Tomcat:
Hell if you're gonna be an "artist",what's the good of it it if other people don't know that you're suffering? :)

Anonymous said...

Right-on, Anon,

That you Jeff?

"T" ?

Ivan

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Is someone calling?

T

ivan@creativewiting.ca said...

You rang?

(signed)
Utan

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

I would ring, however, I wish not to upset anyone.


::hipshake::

T

ivan@creativewrirting.ca said...

Keep shakin' those hips.

I got nothin' right now. :)