Wednesday, April 23, 2008

THE PROFESSOR GETS PEED OFF

THE FIRE IN BRADFORD.

ACT II SCENE ONE.

.............................


INT.
SUBURBAN-STYLE LIVING ROOM WITH A PICTURE WINDOW IN FRONT, THROUGH WHICH CAN BE SEEN TWO MOCK-CYPRESS TREES LIT BY LIVING ROOM LIGHTS. CELIA AND LIEF HAVE PLUMPED THE PROFESSOR ONTO THE MIDDLE OF A C-SHAPED CHESTERFIELD (SOFA).
LIEF IS HOLDING A DRINK IN HIS HAND.

LIEF
I don't want any monkey business, David. and you too, Celia. We brought you here because
you were tired. But I think I feel the room swaying. I'm going to have to go to bed. To
bed....And remember, David. No monkey business.

LIEF TURNS TO STAGE RIGHT. GOES TO WHAT APPEARS TO BE HIS ROOM.

PROFESSOR:
It's lonely down here.

CELIA
Is it?

VERY DELIBERATELY, SHE PUTS OUT AND OPEN PALM AND EXTENDS MANICURED FINGER TO THE SEAT OF WHRE SHE SAW THE TROUBLE TO BE.

PROFESSOR.(COVERING HER HAND WITH HIS)
Celia. You are a married woman!

CELIA
Lief has male friends. He has female friends. I have female friends. I have male friends.
We have an open marriage.

SHE STOPS THE FONDLING THE PREOFESOR, RISES, AND WALKS OVER TO A HI-FI TO THE LEFT OF THE PICTURE WINDOW.
SHE BENDS DOWN TO DISPLAY FOR THE PROFESSOR A
MAGNIFICENT PEAR-SHAPED DERIERRE. BENT DOWN, SHE SEARCHES THROGH THE
LP RACK AND COMES UP WITH A BOB DYLAN ALBUM.

FX. MUSIC: UP

Darkness at the break of noon
The hand-held toy, the child's balloon
Makes you understand too soon
There is no sense in trying

Suicide remarks are torm
From the fool's mouthpiece the hollow horn
Makes all to serve to warn
That he not busy bing born
is busy dying.

THE PROFESSOR IS WAKING UP!

HE IS MESMERIZED BY CELIA'S REAR.

PROFESSOR:
Celia. Your are beautiful. Can we turn off hat pop nihilism for a bit and put on somehing to dance to:

CELIA LOOK UP AT THE PROFESSOR, WHO IS NOW STANDING VERY NEAR.
SHE TAKE OUT ANOTHER LP.

IT IS THE ROLLING STONES:

MUSIC: UP.

Well I followed her to the station
With a suitcase in my hand
Yeah, I followed her to the station
With a suitcase in my hand
Whoa, it's hard to tell, it's hard to tell
When all your love's in vain

When the train come in the station
I looked her in the eye
Well the train come in the station
And I looked her in the eye
Whoa, I felt so sad so lonesome
That I could not help but cry

MUSIC: DOWN.

PROFESSOR

Robert Johnson.
You dig him too?

CELIA

Who's Robert Johnson? I just like Mick Jagger.

THERE IS A SEGUE TO HONKY TONK WOMEN.
CELIA TURNS UP THE LP. THE PROFESSOR TAKE HER HAND. THEY DANCE. BUT SHE
IS DOING IT SOMEWHAT STIFFLY, AS IF IN A RITUAL.

THEY STOP DANCING AT THE END OF HONKY-TONK WOMENj.
THE PROFESSOR BEGINS TO KISS HER, HOLD HER.

HE PICKS HER UP BODILY AND CARRIES HER TO THE U-SHAPED CHESTERFIELD.
HE TRIPS, BUT THEY ARE ALMOST ON TOP OF THE SOFA. HE ATTEMPS TO UNZIP THE FLY ON HER TIGHT, MAN-TYPE JEANS.

THERE IS A STIRRING IN LIEF'S ROOM

CELIA.
David, we can't. Not here. Not now.

THE PROFESSOR, WHO HAD BEEN BUSY TRYING TO UNDO CELIA'S FLY, IS NOW ON THE FLOOR BESIDE THE CHESTERFIELD. HE IS CLEARLY FRUSTRATED, BUT STILL AROUSED.

THE PROFESSOR
Yeah? Well what am I going to tell Omar here? HE POINTS TO THE BULGE IN HIS PANTS.

CELIA.
Omar had better take down his tent.

THE PROFESSOR STANDS UP AND RAKES HIS HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR.

CELIA
It's really late. I'd better go to my room. You can sleep here. The liquor cabinet is full.

SHE GIVES HIM A PECK ON THE CHEEK AND MAKES FOR HER BEDROOM STAGE LEFT.

CELIA
Good night.

SHE LEAVES THE PROFESSOR ALL ALONE.

LIGHTS. DOWN.

PAUSE.

LIGHTS BACK UP.

THERE IS A SCENE OF THE PROFESSOR HAVING A PEE IN THE BATHROOM NEXT TO LIEF'S ROOM.

HE HEARS VOICIES OFFSTAGE. HE HEARS LIEF' S VOICE. THEY SLEEP IN SEPARATE ROOMS, BUT SHE IS OBVIOUSLY IN LIEF'S ROOM, STAGE RIGHT.

LIEF.

So you get Dave over here to get you all hot, and then you come to me.

THE PROFESSOR CONTINES PEEING

SFX
SOUND OF PEEING.

LIGHTS: DOWN


.....END SCENE.

7 comments:

the walking man said...

Slowly this is synching in Ivan...I can only say...and?

Peace

mark

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Glad you find me not entirely shiftless. :)

CR said...

Whoa. Time for a little pain.

Sprinkled with, Champagne Rain...

Donnetta Lee said...

Wow. You are at it again. I love Mark's comment about synching in! I have to read these scripts 2 or 3 times before they synch in with me! Good work as always.
Donnetta

ivan@creativewrjiting.caa said...

Donetta.
Ya make me feel good.
Thanks. I do worry that the play may be a bit too dense...Much prefer the novel form.
But I guess I'd better finish what I start, though I seem to get more comments from straight blogs reather than creative work.
It'll soon be intermission, and I'll get into a blog.

ivan@creativewritinb.ca said...

cr:


Yeh.

Champagne rain.

Some Prince.

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