Saturday, May 10, 2008

"Dear Mom: It's a bastard!...........Dear Son: So are you.


DAMN--I GOT THE WRONG PICTURE.
IT'S MOTHER'S DAY!
Have to take a break from my play I've been putting up here, THE FIRE IN BRADFORD

They say you have to break the work, or the work breaks you.

Well, I like to think one is" bloody but unbowed", but it is Mother's Day in any event and I'll have to make the pilrgimage to Hamilton, Ontario, where the Krupps have made an inroad, and one more indurstry was sold--uh, not to the American

German.

We sell our oil to anybody but Ontario, and now the very industrial forge of Ontario is in foreign hand.
I swear I will write a book (in German )one day, titled Dumpkopf Kanadischen, but that's another story.

I swear there are days when I'm convinced that Canada works because everybody's incompetent and easily bought. And now Saskatchewan is for sale because they've found more oil there than in Alberta....And that's something, because there is more oil in A;berta than there is in Iraq. Nobody will invade us, except possibly the friendly Chinese, who are already in Ft. McMurray and have eyes for Saskatchewan.
Ah well, the more the merrier, though most of my Chinese friends would rather elecit information than a joke.
Quick studies, yes, but they have no time for jokes...Uh, we are the joke.

Stupid Canada. Charging almost no royalites and selling it all.
And who knows what's under the ground in Manitoba.

Selling our souls for a mess of pottage.

But I digress--like right off topic.

It is Mother's Day.

There is a bond between mother and son, the primal relationship, and this almost hits Oedipus proportions.

Woody Allen and his "Oedipus Wrecks"

Ah well, keep it in the family

The bond shows in the strangest ways. "Mama gonna feed you," runs the pizza ad on TV.

I visited my mother at the old age home recently. She insisted on feeding me during her supper time. There was something charming about that.

I am almost seventy years old, but there I was, with bib and tucker, and listening intently to my mother while being fed. She had insisted on it.
Took the food right off her own plate, and filled mine. There is something either pathetic or toucing about the scene.

"His mother's head on his father's shoulders." That's how Italian-American writer Pietro di Donato described Hemingway and after Hemingway had said Italy was a great, "but the place is full of Wops.".

Ah well. Hamilton is a great city, but it's full of Yakshamayesh types.

Hey, they might have cabbage rolls on Mother's day.

Gotta keep up that old ethnic quotient.

18 comments:

the walking man said...

Laughed at the title Ivan. Made me think of my deceased Father in Law. The Italian from Venecia. Every mothers day for twenty years we would race to see who was the first to phone the other and wish him a happy motherfuckers day.

China needs the oil now that they are taking a swing at Airbus and Boeing by beginning to make their own jumbo commercial carriers. Motherfuckers.

Why IS Fathers day so marginalized?

Hope your mom is doing well and uhhh...

Happy Motherfuckers Day to you.

mark

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

"Afta suppah muddafukkah."

Donnetta Lee said...

You should both be ashamed of yourselves!! (Mark and Ivan) Naughty, naughty, naughty.

We celebrate Father's Day just as much as Mother's Day--or used to when my son was younger and living at home.

No one home but me today. Percy and Princess said, Happy Mother's Day.

Ya'll be good now. Donnetta

Charles Gramlich said...

My mom could still kick my ass, though I wouldn't fight back much.

the walking man said...

My mom is beyond washing my mouth out. But she picked up my old man's sailor vocabulary in part as much as I did. And she was a social worker for 40 years, ha ha ha

No shame in earthy language eh?

Peace

mark

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Happy belated Mother's Day Donetta, as I wished you in email.

We be bad.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Charles,

My mom she be very old, but she still mean.
Used to sharpen miniature hatchets and go after poor old Da if he drank too much.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Mark,

Little old lady in Toronto walked onto a bus and did not pay her fare. The driver turned his head to yell, "Will the little old lady with the umbrella please pay her fare?"
She ignored him.

The pasenger beside her said, "I think he wants yout to pay your fare, or show a pass."

Little old lady:

"F*ck him."

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Mark, I fear we are becoming D. O. M.'s.

Wordsworth would quaff a daff.

And his "heart with pleasure fills
And dances witth the daffodils."


The mood you or I are in right now, we'd probably dance with a duck.

With me anyway, there's something about the flapping of the wings.

Oh well. Donnetta will set us straight. :)

Josie said...

Ivan, I'll bet your mother could still smack you up the side of the head too. *heh* She sounds adorable. I don't understand Mother's Day. It should be every day! Seven or 70, our mothers still look after us!

the walking man said...

Eyaaa it was a strange mood yesterday Ivan, one ripe for dancing with ducks. Naw I don't do the dirty thing anymore, aging had its benefits.

Uhhh Donnetta I guess you have been put in charge of rehabbing old reprobates.

Peace

mark

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Josie,

She is definitely a character, though I hate to say, succumbing a bit in health.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Mark,

Yep Donetta's gonna school us.

Guess I'd better turn in the floppy raincoat and the false pantlegs with the little suspenders
and stop hanging around in parks.

Josie said...

I agree. Mother's Day (or indeed any reference to our mothers) is not the time for vulgarity. I am a mother, and if I were there I would grab all you naughty boys by the ear, march you into the bathroom and wash your mouths out with soap and water.

Now, I want to see you boys feeling contrite. Yes, that's it. Hang your heads in shame, kick the dirt around with your shoes, and say you're sorry...!

ivan@creaetivewritng.ca said...

Lo siento.

Pedro and Marko sorry.

Mother will spank.

Hey.

Anonymous said...

ah...good ol' Oedipus...if not for him,Freud would have been slinging burgers all his life...a McFreud to go...here's to all mothers,fathers,and any McFuckers in between...

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

That Jocasta was a swingin' chick.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

p.s. to Anonuymous:

It is small wonder then that the founder of McDonalds was Ray Crock(sp?)
Crock, I say.