Must be the full moon.
My picture file has been corrupted again.
I had intended to show the image of our good- looking correspondent, John Dowson, but it appears that I had unintentionally mooned him.
Not to worry. John is an area politician (ran twice) and a magazine writer. Writing for York North Magazine, he offers a new take on exurban living.
So much so that the last time I ran one of his vignettes, responses came in from as far away as the American Midwest. Ah, exurban and suburban life. It's everywhere, it's everywhere!
Dagwood and Blondie. But Dagwood no more. Women are great organizers in this new system of scrupulously organizing and collating the suburbanite's garbage.
"Blue box" concerns. Put the green stuff in the green bin. Orders. Orders. We must follow orders!
It's our newly regimented life and welcome to it.
WHERE DOES IT GO?
Our household eagerly awaited the arrival of our new Green Bin, for months leading up to September we had been told that our Green Bin was on its way along with a new garbage collection system, the day finally arrived and our brand new Green Bin was delivered. We were like kids opening a Christmas present. We ripped off the sticky shipping notice, flipped open the lid and peered inside. “Hey” I said “there’s a small plastic container, some information papers, a large fridge magnet and a fold out with instructions”. “What do we do with this stuff” I said. “Read the instructions” said my wife, and we sat down to find out what goes where.
The first order of business was to decide where to put the Green Bin, the little plastic container, the garbage bin and the blue box container. Before the Green Bin, we had two containers under our sink and now we had to find room for three. Previous to all this I’d been trained to haul the garbage bags to the curb each week and every other week I’d add the Blue Boxes.
Just like Pavlov’s dog I followed this routine, and now I was forced to learn a new routine. I not only had to remember what to place at the curb each week, I also had to learn what went in the Green Bin, the garbage bin, and the Blue Box. This was heady stuff, after years of sorting garbage and becoming skilled at reading the triangle on the bottom of each container for the blue box, I now had to learn to three stream the garbage, and figure out, what went into each bin. We pored over the instructions, which were so small we had to use a magnifying glass. Pre-Green Bin.
Green Bin on the brain.
In the past, after dinner, before all the elaborate recycling process, we just scraped off our plate, dumped the scraps in the garbage and washed the dishes. My mother had drummed into us “Clean off your plate after dinner” and we did. Now after eating we have to consult the directions on our fridge to find out, what goes where..
“Where do fruit and vegetables go?” Iasked . “In the Green bin” said my wife “What about my napkin”, “Is it soiled?” she wanted to know.
" Do you mean did I use it?!”
"Hm. Let me read the instructions” she said. (The fold- out is pasted on our Fridge for reference).
” I think it’s Green Bin” she decided as I'd put it in the little plastic container under the sink.
“What about plastic wrap?”
“Garbage” she answered, “Paper."
"Is it shredded?”"
“Yes” had I said as I tore it into small pieces,
"Uh. “Green bin, I guess. ” Are you sure it’s not in the Blue Box? I asked.
“If it’s small and shredded you can put it in the green bin” she said. “It says paper goes in the Blue box.” “Green Bin” she finally declared,
“Well what goes in the garbage bin?" “
"Don’t argue with me. Just put it in the Green Bin” she said as she stormed out of the kitchen.
Meal time use to be a pleasant affair, now it’s like 20 questions, what goes where, is it animal, mineral or vegetable; I shudder to think what happens at dinner parties. Before the Green Bin arrived.
Garbage was a Guy thing, but this Green Bin is a woman thing. Try this simple test, ask any woman what item goes where and she’ll rattle off the correct bin. Meat.. Green Bin, Coffee.. Green Bin, Gum…Garbage, Milk bags.. Garbage et cetera. I think I’ll just put everything in garbage bags and put them out every two weeks, who’s to know!!!