Sunday, September 21, 2008

An epistle to the Quarks



Hi Quarks (fellow travellers to this blog)

Oh Gawd.

After Saturday Night Live's fabulous performance last weekend, I felt like saying what I used to say abou MAD Magazine. Oh MAD, poor MAD, something's hung you up and I'm feeling so sad.

SNL sucked a hotchee last night.

Darryl Hammond was badly used as John McCain in something called "McCain Voiceovers", it was too safe a satire, there were only photos of Barrak Obama and not an Obama character with something called "McCain Voiceovers"-- and Kristin Wiig's talents were entirely wasted where she played the part of a group of reporters to be sent to Alaska, ultimately eaten by bears and run over by snowmobiles.

The musical group Kings of Leon performed "Sex on Fire" and "Use Somebody."--and they sure used us in two totally flat performances. No sign of Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin....Are hey afraid of a lawsuit or something?

But no. They hinted on Palin's husband making out with their children and how they got away with that spoof, I'll never know. If I were Sen. Palin I would have sued. Bad taste. Ecch!

Always the same in the performing arts. One huge success in an episode and then a corresponding failure in the next.

Should have wartched MAD earlier.

It's edgier. Not like the print magazine today. Or, last night, SNL.

I too am losing my edge. Ideas and opportunities come, and I just say, "Ah well. There goes another idea, another opportinity. Sent something to the local paper and got a really nice hello from Debora Kelly, editor, but someone had already done the story on a theme I had in mind. She at least inquired about my health and I guess that door is still open.

Well, if SNL can blow it entirely I guess here and there I can too. And those cats used to make fabulous incomes. You wouldn't believe how fabulous. Had kept John Belushi in dope for years, until he had that last snort.

Maybe it's producer Lorne Michaels' anti-drug policy now. They used to really get it on in the late Seventies, when almost everybody in the cast but Jane Curtin was on drugs. Remember John Belushi in the "Samurai Deli", the part when a customer didn't like a submarine sandwich and Belushi, as the Samurai Deli owner went to commit hara-kiri with his sword. He had "lost face". Hee.

And there was a parody of the "Point-Counterpoint" segment of the news program 60 Minutes, Curtin portrayed a controlled "liberal", Politically Correct viewpoint (referencing Shana Alexander) vs. Dan Akroyd, who (referencing James J. Kilpatrick) prototyped the right-wing view, albeit with an over the top "attack" journalist slant.
Curtin would present the liberal "Point" portion first, then Aykroyd would present the "Counterpoint" portion, sometimes beginning with the statement, "Jane, you ignorant slut."

Egad.

I'm afraid the good old days are gone forever.

................

Got some tomatoes out of the garden.

You mean tomatoes, usually from California, don't have to taste like kaopectate?

Delicious.

It's harvest time in Ontario and everything's great.

Hope Pam's spread in Australia got some rain.

Spanking, gorgeous days out here. Had to go and catch the sun. 'fore it's gone..



My Marigold grew to seven feet. (sic!)

Ah woodsman, spare that marigold.It had become huge, and aged. Had to do a logging expedition and cut the thing down; it was robbing space from all the tomatoes; I've never seen a flower grow so tall. That Miracle Grow is wunderstuff. Gee, I wonder if I can get any bigger if I take some. Heh.

Ah. Fun in the garden with Ivan. Never trust a naked marigold.

Holy cow.

There might be life after rejection.

##

23 comments:

Charles Gramlich said...

I haven't watched SNL in ages. I believe making fun of politiician's children should be frowned on. I always frown on it.

Go go Marigold.

ea monroe said...

Now, that the marigold has been "logged," you don't have to worry about being "pollinated" or "cross-pollinated" (as Donnetta recently said in a Quark Email.)

The early actors and SNL skits were a riot, especially when one was as loaded as the cast. Heck, even Mr. Roger's was great back in the day! ;-) Liz

Donnetta Lee said...

I confess. I have not watched SNL in ages and ages. After the days of Belushi and company, I began to lose heart and eventually started reading books late at night or watching old movies. Or maybe I just got older and lost the sense of humor. Who knows! (walking away with bones creaking)D

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Charles,

Yep. Being a politician's son is like being a church minister's son, I guess.

No matter what you do, you're in the spotlight. No place to hide.
Paparazzo will getcha.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Liz,

Remembe W. C. Handy?

Borderline gay guy with outcome problems.

"I'm smart enough, I'm determined enough, and dog-gone it, people like me."

I used to get a horselaugh too, out of Dieter, the angst-ridden German. "Dont' touch my monkey."
(He would have an actual monkey sitting in the corner).

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Donnetta,

I guess Belushi knew he was going to hell, that's why he was so compelling.

I guess eventually, he did.

Donnetta Lee said...

Well, Belushi probably ended up at some level other than seventh heaven alright. Hambooger, hambooger, cheesebooger? D

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Eeek.

Mess of pottage.

Infernal.

the walking man said...

While, like her favorite sporting events, my wife has seen just about every episode of SNL, I doubt that I have seen a complete episode ever.

I may have missed some cultural event but then...I ain't got no culture.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Maybe you got too much culture, Mark--taste anyway.

SNL has been dull, dull dull these past ten years, and I realy wish somebody like Andy Samberg who in my opinion is the unfunniest comedian in New York-- should get another job. Maybe make a crappy movie like Amy Poehler and Tina Fey have had to make.

But the openner of SNL on Sept 13 was just too good to miss. As a polical junkie you would hav loved it...And yeah, after that you could have flipped channels. I know I did.

But producer Lorne Michaels pulled off a skit that did the season opener proud and made the aoudience squeal with delight.

Playing off the news of ABC anchorman Charles Gibson's interview with Palin, the sketch has Poehler's Clinton saying she doesn't agree with the Bush Doctrine. And then, Fey's Palin quickly adds, "I don't even know what that is." The studio audience screamed in delight.

The laughs kept coming and coming.

--But last Sunday was nuthin'.

But I guess after 33 years, you can't keep it up forever.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

p.s. to Mark:

Liz just highlighted something for me to do with the latest bailout of Wall Street.

Point seem to be the web of debt and the losss of all freedoms for Americans, now that the government owns everything.

http://www.webofdebt.com/articles/its_the_derivatives.php

Cheeers (I think)

Sienna said...

Caught that epistle and back at ya!

A couple of mm of rain, a dust storm blew through, followed by small bit of rain, which is better than a jab in the eye with a wooden stick.

I tried loading the skit from SNL (about Hillary and Palin) from You tube, but only got a few seconds of it, not enough grunt in the old dial up internet.

Well, off to do a little cross pollinating. :)

Night Ivan.

Pam

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

ha ha Pam.

Thanks.

Caught me havig a sunriser, huh?

Yep. Too early in the morning for me to be up.

Glad there was some rain in Victoria, Australia.

...Been looking at the publiher websites. Somebody has bootlegged my The Fire In Bradford in hardcover.

Steal away, pireates. I don't care. The mediums is the message.

'Night, doll
(Hic Nobis).

Jo said...

SNL lost its edge years ago. MAD TV has been better for ages! Tina Fey on SNL got lucky that she resembles Sarah Palin, otherwise, *yawn*.

Does anyone remember Second City TV (SCTV)? It was even better!

Save me some of those tomatoes, Ivan. I love fresh, REAL tomatoes, not those cardboard things from California.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Jo,

Yeah, I remember SCTV. Catherine O'Hara, Martin Short, John Candy, Joe Flaherty..

The late John Candy was born twenty miles away from me in Newmarket ON.

Had a coffee with him once. Was too full of myself to recognize him. Still feel bad.

It was from Flaherty that I used the line "Suck a hotchee"...Risky at the time, and pushing the envelope on air..

Caherine O'Hara and the other ladies were brilliant. Glda Radner, I think.

Well, the men of the old cast are over the hill now, especially Martin Short, though I recall his portayal of the snooty entertainment wiriter, "Basic Glick" had its moments.

Ah the magic tomatoes.
I am up to here with them.
Love that vitamin A.
Feel like Adam looking forEve in the garden. So desperate I am starting to chase the serpent.

Anonymous said...

Ivan:

Some people might choose to articulate this in more florid language, but the root of the matter is : America is f*cked. Ron Paul has recently been screaming about a de-facto secret government that has taken over the commanding heights of the US economy.

It's not all doom and gloom. There are many parts of the economy still going strong. People are still getting up in the morning, going to work, producing stuff. Life goes on for many Americans.

But economic rot is seeping in.

Two people who called this include John McMurtry (Guelph U philosophy prof who wrote The Cancer Stage of Capitalism) and Michael Hudson (Kucinich's economic advisor).

-A

P.S.: Here's what Michael Hudson had to say recently:


http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article20822.htm
This gives an idea of just how large the bailout has been - and where the government's (or at least the Republicans') priorities lie! Instead of waking up the economy to reality, the government has thrown all its resources to promote the unreal dream that debts can be paid - if not by the debtors themselves, then by the government - "taxpayers," as the euphemism goes.

Overnight, the U.S. Treasury and Federal Reserve have radically changed the character of American capitalism. It is nothing less than a coup d'Etat for the class that FDR called "banksters." What has happened in the past two weeks threatens to change the coming century - irreversibly, if they can get away with it. This is the largest and most inequitable transfer of wealth since the land giveaways to the railroad barons during the Civil War era.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Thanks, Aaron.

I'm glad Liz Monroe pointed me to this.

Nothing like a sharp "redneck economist" from Alberta to stay on top of things.
I enjoy your blog and thanks for publishing or, at least highlighting one of my novels on your blog way back.

(Aaron's site is http://www.grandinite.ca)

benjibopper said...

when dan ackroyd was fab. and steve martin was his fellow czech. ahh, whimsy.

yeah, snl lost its edge. but sometimes even edge ain't enough. mad's edgy but still, somehow, flat. a flat edge. it's just not that astute. pokes fun without really saying anything, like 'ha ha politicians are so dumb', without the why, the how, the showing. stewart and colbert are where it's at for polisatire.

i always wish for more garden time. watch out for nettle. on the other hand, might bring your edge back.

Lana Gramlich said...

I think SNL's totally sucked for decades now, personally. Stopped watching it a LOONNNNG time ago. MAD was better when it first started out, of course. In time it'll suck just as much as SNL does now.
A bit of surrealism this morning. I got in from feeding the birds & could have sworn I heard John McCain giving cooking tips. I walked back into the living room where, on the Today show, John McCain was indeed sharing his BBQ rib recipe with America. I was glad it wasn't some acid flashback, at any rate!

Jo said...

I think all of these shows have been cut off at the knees by political correctness. We don't live in a society where free speech is permitted, even though we (ahem) think we do. We don't! That's why nothing has an edge anymore.

1984 was 24 years ago, but Big Brother is still watching, watching, watching....

"Telescreens are featured in George Orwell's novel Nineteen Eighty-Four. They are television and security camera-like devices used by the ruling Party in Oceania to keep its subjects under constant surveillance, thus eliminating the chance of secret conspiracies against Oceania. All members of the Inner Party and Outer Party and a few proletarian settings have telescreens." ... Wikipedia.

Sound familiar? Everything we say on these computers and on TV, etc., is being read, watched and recorded somewhere by someone. Make no mistake. And there are video cameras everywhere now. We cannot go one day without being recorded either in a store, a bank, on the street, etc.

Everything has lost its edge, haven't you noticed? Everything!

The 1960s backfired on us. Big time. We are now living in the echoes.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Benji,

Yeah, the two Czech guys trying to be hip, and "wild and crazy".

Yeah.

I'm just getting out of the nettle patch. Gave me a hell of a rash.

Looked up through Google something called Abelard Books. Say they have my "Fire in Bradford" in hard cover.

I never published that book in hardcover. It was cardboard cover.
I've either been bootlegged or I don't read information very well.

Cheers.

ivan@creativewritng.ca said...

Lana.

Yeah. McCain never had much of an edge except his Vietnames captor reporting that he would come out "very cranky" out of the tiger cage.
"Spend two days in the tiger cage--very cranky guy."

Look like right now he is trying to be the galloping gourmet.

When, if ever, is he going to get it? Bush doctrine all the while.

ivan@creaetivewritig.ca said...

Josie,

Toynbee's book is even more prescient.

In Brave New World, they have
virtual "touchie-feelies" to ease the stress.

I just caught a video of Britney Spears doing "Do you want a piece of me?"

I do.

Well, I got caught by the touchie-feelies".

Britney, yes. Yes, I want a piece of you.

Where do I press START?