Saturday, December 13, 2008

Lisa Nowak and her bondage gear--Where are you when I need you?



Can somebody help me out with this?

Pop 8 Sympatico will not accept my password for email....I'd quite forgottent what the password was but it was automatically indicated by six digits, just under the user name, where the space says password. So I clicked on "remember me" and onto a new password...Not working. My new Password of any combination of old password was not accepted. Keep getting that damn two line box, asking for user name on top and password at the bottom line.

My real password, according to my absent techie, was abcdefg1, but that's eight characters. Display in digits showed six characters.

I tried that. I tried everything.

But you don't remember me and you will not accept my passord, pop 8...!!!

I cannot get e-mail now.

Stupid fershlugginer machine...Or is it Microsoft on a full moon?

Nothing seems seems to work for me tonight, including the old brain, never mind Pop 8 Sympatico.


I am frustrated and annoyed.

Annoyed even at the lack of progress in my comic novel, "Naked Came the Ukrainian", sure to be a winner with the conservative Ukrainian community.

My brain is mush, likely because of my obvious condition...Yeah, I'm in my shorts, but there's nobody here... Like Han Solo? Not too much of the Force here.

Han Solo. That is a hell of name for a lonely guy from a galaxy far away.

Guess you have to while away the light years.

Or land somewhere and go after ewoks or sand people.

Ah my attempts at SciFi.

Looks like my other book, "How Ewoks get it on" isn't going to work either.

Hey those cute little devils are wearing masks and carry miniature hardware.

Geez, get some duct tape, Lisa Nowak. Might trap an ewok.

I mean lord knows what astronaut Lisa Nowak was after....But she had the tape and handcuffs.

Must get awful lonely in space.

Lisa, I''m so lonely. Hey.
And I got 3M over here. You don't have to shop.

Anything to fight off the full moon. I'll even hang you a moon.

Ah equipment breakdown. Ivan in meltdown.

Who says I don't give a flying .... about a lady astronaut gone shit-crazy?

Levitate this way, baby.

I got the tape.

##

42 comments:

JR's Thumbprints said...

Last I heard, she's headed your way. Got the pedal to the metal, and a diaper half-full. Not a pretty picture, messed up in the head, but at the same time, smart as hell. I'll bet she understands your raw, in the flesh, humour too. Dust off your Al Green record, cue up the song, "Let's Get it On." She's ready Ivan! She's pulling up to the curb as I speak. She'll crack the code. Your life will once again have meaning, you'll have your way in, password and all.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Great, JR.

Yep, she might have been nuts, but she's a hell of a lot smarter than Al Green. And 140 IQ can easily outsrip on my high school teacher's score on the Binet scale.

But in bed--there's a fantasy.
I suppose there'd be a certain bond.

Charles Gramlich said...

You know what they say, "in space no one can hear you scream," when you're handcuffed and duct taped.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Ha ha.

And in a space suit. And you've got gold oven glove on. :)

benjibopper said...

too bad about the ewok book. i can foresee a cult following for that one.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Thanks, Benji.

Wish I had the energy to make a book or cartoons or a website out of ewoks having little orgies while weating their little leather masks and leather teddy bear outfits.

...I think I am twisted.

Midnight said...

Ewok this way ?

You're not twisted, Man...

You just make some of us feel,
almost normal...

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

I go out walking...

Midnight said...

Sure. With furry little things,
in your mind ; unconscious wings..

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

I saw a Tim-bit with little leotarded feet following a Tim Horton's float last Christmas.

It was cute.

I was gonna go right after it.

Know that song, Desperado?

Midnight said...

Fortune favours the bold.

And the Werewolves of London.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Yep,

That's my Tim-bit. And I'll follow it all I want. :)

I think I need a shot.

Join ya.

Bur seriously, beer break.

Ein prosit.

Midnight said...

Na Zdorovlia!

the walking man said...

Would Han solo in the village of the Ewok?

Midnight said...

Normally, he'd have a wingman (assman?), to cover his butt. But in the Ewok village, it might be overkill...

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Midnight,

Seems like I started a blog thread that might drive the ladies away.

There was, however, in 1998, on the David Letterman show a guy from Regina named Dick Assman.

He left the show for a while, and Letterman annonced during his absence, "Hey, Dick Assman is in Regina."

Ah well. Kind of basic hunour.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Mark,

Han Solo wouldn"t dare.

He might be put in the stocks.

Three- handers.

Midnight said...

Sauce for the Moose?

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Right now it's Moosehead Ale.

I gotta quit and do some writin'.

Midnight said...

Ahem. How can you tell, if an Easterner (or a Northener) likes Moosehead?

-- They've got antler scrapes,
on their thighs...


Ok, a grade 2 joke...

Butt it works, out there.

Midnight said...

Ivan... writing, opens my mind,


To the possibilities,

Of an Aries/Leo Moon Trine...


The Bitch has it covered
She dances like I'm her loverd,

And the fire in her heart is divine.

Lana Gramlich said...

Did you try abcde1 (that's only 6 digits.) Alternately, you need to contact your mail server (whether web based or ISP,) & explain the problem. Best of luck!

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Thanks Lana.

Finally, some sense.

eric1313 said...

Follow Lana's instructions.

I take it you use Microsoft IE? They'll help you get back on.

That's why I use the same 2 passwords for a lot of things, which is bad, but hey--if one don't work, then the other one does, right?

eric1313 said...

Han Solo was a perfect name for the guy, too. He was a non-believer in the force, stuck to his gut feeling and his abilities to shoot straight, and to fly a nice modified starship that he won in a high-stakes space poker game. He had a Wookie friend named Chewie who's life he saved once and the big walking carpet wouldn't stop following him everywhere after that, though he would also learn to fly and shoot pretty good. You had to learn that to hang out with Han Solo. He was always being shot at and traps springing around him. Worked for gangsters a little too much and it all closed in on him eventually, had no choice but to join the rebels.

So just keep writing. Is that what this is all getting to?

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Eric,

You intuitive, encyclopaedic devil.

So just keep writing. Is that what this is all getting to?

Yes, but in a very roundabout fashion.

...It doesn't matter how smart you are. You've got to start somewhere.

I guess one could do worse than rhuminating over Star Wars.

There had been any number of duster novels,Texas Star Dreck, I suppose that were seminal works (Egad!) that no doubt led to George Lucas' masterpiece.

And face it, masterpiece it was. Ask Lana.

ea monroe said...

Ivan, is your email working yet? I haven't had any quark emails lately!

Figured out the pass word? It's "what." As in What's the password? What...

~Liz

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Hi Liz,

Still jammed on the email. Might be a Mircrsoft problem, as there is a worm going around.
I've finally figure out how to reach Microsoft with a new paasword, but it seems I can't send email either.

Abbot and Costello. Who's on first?

Looks like tomorrow I'll be getting some high class tech help, but it'll break me.

http://www.creativewriting.ca said...

p.s. to Liz,

If there is important Quark mail coming in, I guess it could go here in the interim.

Midnight said...

Ahem.

The ultimate password, is :

'snuffaluffagus'.

Hope that helps...

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Midnight,

I am becomimng convinced that Microsoft is really Sesame Street. "Hey,Cocaine Monster!" and we are Bert and Ernie.

Midnight said...

Ivan, that's effin' hilarious!
(Now I'm gonna have to go and watch it - it's been decades. Damn.. what will all the other Cossacks think?).

Jo said...

I wondered what had happened to the Quark mail.

Ivan, why don't you switch to G-Mail through Google. And then write your password down somewhere. I always use the same password for everything. And it's so obscure, no one would ever guess it, but I never forget it. Once you try to log in with an incorrect password too many times, you will get locked out.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Josie,

You are right on.

Used incorrect password too many times.

Also my heavy smoking seems to have choked my IBM 2000.

Techie said he was allergic and couldn't finish working on my machine...Get it out of the shopl!"

I am looking for another techie.

...Again,who invented my life?

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Jo,

There is an outside chance that I have not paid my pop 8 sympatico bill...Last time it was my techie son who paid, but it was with his crdit card...It is possible that when I try to unsnag my email, they might want to positively identify me, my creadit card number as my son is no longe in town...Aghh!

Ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

p.s. to Josie.

I have found a new techie...Here's hopin'

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