Saturday, June 27, 2009

No academic ties



Ah, the great sprawling novels we would create. But we need to eat. Switching from literature to academe. But academe can be a snake pit. The competition is so intense because the stakes are so low. Not the great novel, no. Job security, tenure. People who imagine themselves talented had to leave academe. Go elsewhere. Atmosphere too poisoned with yahoos, frauds, idiots most of them; the teachers without degrees. But several degrees of student manipulation!

The able soon eased out of the college. Slimy adacemics, or at least academic manques here. No other intent but to keep the job. No novel, no thesis (this was a community college after all)--only the unfit survive, for work experience trumped the PhD, and former factory bullies rise to the top. Like in the Canadian Broadccasting corportation. The people at the top have no broadcasting training whatsoever...But can they manipulate and bully. Drive out the really creative people. Give you program series like Little Mosque on the Prairie. Banish first-rate satire on Canada like The Royal Canadian Air Farce. Dumb everybody down.
Small wonder that some announcers, driven to drink, will have a slip of the tongue one day and announce, "This is the Canadian Broadcorping Castration."

I got to the college (I think) honestly. I had worked in the journalistic vinyards. I had no PhD, but close, as my published novel was part of the key to academe. And I was working on the PhD.
But enter the plumbers and the manipulators.
If you can't do anything else, teach, goes the maxim.
These bozos couldn't even teach so in the classic Peter Principle, they were promoted to administrate. Those who can't teach--administrate.
But still, the remustered factory hands. Bullies rise to the top. Always. No matter where.
Fuzzy-eared creative types must suffer what they must.
The rumustered clods, Bulls in the china shop of academe. Manipulate students. Even sexually-- Little suckers get in the way of empire building.

Plato's academy had the motto: Those ignorant of mathematics should not enter here.
Well, many of these dweebs couldn't even spell, let alone add.
Unlike a university, a community college has no standards, not for teachers, and seemingly less for students.
Thank God the community colleges in Canada, some of them, have become degree-granting institutions.. Hopefully there is improvement in the quality of teachers and, most importantly, the students.
You can be only as good as the master, but if he is a grade ten dropout who somehow weaseled his way into the CBC, was found out--and ended teaching communications at a community college-well, all the worse for you. You'll spend three years learning abuut the volume control panel, becaue the teacher is not up to his job and focuses instead, on ephemera. And half the time, he's trying to get into your pants. Not survival of the fittest, oh no. Survival of the fittingest.
When a pervert meets a pervert comin' through the rye, looking for the student who himself is about to go odd. And sometimes causing a suicide. And what does it all have to do with education? Chiggered if I know. "It don't amount to a hill of beans," explains the yokel teacher.
Farmers and factory hands at the helm. Can't add, can't spell. But can they cast a spell on the poor, insecure and weak student, usually a late bloomer and, with maniacs at the helm, perhaps as in high school, nipped in the bud again.
The taxpayers don't know. Three years of wasting time learning the control panel of a broadcasing studio. No emphasis on the actor's discipline known as Speech, elocution, delivery, confidence.
How is a manipulative grade ten dropout teacher going to instill confidence?
Ah, bend over, kid.
Thankfully, the computer and the internet arrived. Too dumb to handle even the simplest intellecual tasks, the bad teachers have had to go elsewhere. Stupidity had been hunted out into the light.
Such had been the way of the Ontario community college...At least over here in King City, where the institution became quickly known as the King Zoo, abounding in fools and knaves for teachers, frustrating gifted student, who dropped out by the dozens. Teacher reduced to three students out of 24," but bigod, I've got tenure."
We untenured profs did what we could, but by the time we got a student published and in the media, it seemed almost too late. The maniac animals had risen to the top of the KIng Zoo.
Primates. Administrators."I've got tenure and you ain't...And we both started out at the same time. Take that!"
Ah, yes reformed plumber and now barrack room lawyer. You finally upgraded your paperwork. You had to.
But you've pissed off a professional and now you can take this.

##

29 comments:

PhilipH said...

Just read on "A Majority of Two" that you had a problem with John's site.

Thought you'd like to know that I had a problem there too. Windows said something about not being able to display etc.

Gave up. Don't think it was your pc that was being troublesome Ivan.

Phil

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Phil,

Hell and thank you.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Gad. That should be "Hello, and thank you." ...Senior moment, I guess.

PhilipH said...

Or poetic licence ...mayhap ?

;-)

Charles Gramlich said...

The problem with academia, as with all human jobs and careers, is the people.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

PhilH,
Heh.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Yes, Charles.

I had held teachers up as gods until I became one.
Talk about imperfect!

the walking man said...

"and now you can take this."

Ivan it seems an incomplete thought at the end there. Take this and do what with it?

See I was one of those who willingly let the incompetent pass me by so they could go into management. Then I wouldn't have to go behind them and fix the shit they were to incompetent to repair.

And as an added benefit because their numbers of production were dependent on my numbers of production, whenever I told them to take "this" and shove it up their ass, their boss, whose production numbers also depended in part on my production numbers, agreed with me and took it and shoved it up their ass for me.

He was the best manager I ever knew. And they say being in the trades allows for a worse life than education.

"fuck 'em"

ivan@creativewritig..ca said...

Mark,

I can always count on you to come in with an assisst.
Yep. You have completed my thought.

Mona said...

Bad teachers have been everywhere. I feel that periodical examination of teachers should be conducted , which should decide whether their contract has to be renewed or not. Teachers cannot go on teaching the same thing for years on, when there is so much change effected every moment. They should constantly update and upgrade themselves. In short, self educate to be able to educate.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Mona,

Yes.

I had an economics teacher in high school who thought the monetary system was still based on gold, $35 U.S.

Anonymous said...

Hi, it's Michael Koerner once again. Thanks for allowing me into your web space once again. Would like to wish everyone out there a very happy Canada Day.

Not much this month, as my computer died for a couple of weeks so if you sent me emails that needed a reply. Please send them again.

Visitors to the oldfco web site should top 100,000 any day now.

Thought for Today:

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...it's about learning how to dance in the rain." Unknown
Our always-growing community of newsletter subscribers reading this email is now over the 800 mark. The following is contained in this edition of the newsletter. If you have anything that you would like the community to see, or your looking for old friends, don't hesitate to ask, and I will post it here in the newsletter.

Links Worth Visiting,
Site Support,
Pinetreeline Site,
Requests
39 & Counting (Birthdates),
Anniversaries, and
Track Faded (Last Post)

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Michael,

Oh those wonderful air force days.
Like high school,but better!
Having trouble putting up all of your newsleter.HMTL tags, whatever the hell they are.

Anonymous said...

Why don't you just provide a link to the newsletter in your blog? the address is http://www.oldfco.ca/fconews/newsletter/09-06-jun.html I keep the active for one year.

---
Regards
Michael Koerner
www.oldfco.ca/fconews/

JR's Thumbprints said...

This is a test. This test is being performed to see whether your blog will actually take my comment. It seems that whenever I enter a worthwhile comment I get an error code. So this time I won't say much at all, I won't say anything too sophisticated that may pertain to your actual post. Instead, I'll ask the following: Neck tie? Or Bow tie?

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

JR,

Sorry to hear.
Naughty spam comes to me all the time, over which, I admit I may have spent a delightful minute or two.This allows the spam to set and next thing I know, I have a little virus and images of sex mixed with gastronomy seem to bedevil me at the most unexpacted times.
...And good, useful and cogent comments from people like you are somehow relegated to the error code...I wish he damn thing would work when someone flashes me a picture of a beautiful woman having problems with eating a humungous zucchini. Thise get through all right, but good comments are sometimes vetted.

Seeems since my son left me to my own devices in clearing my blog of hiccups, I have had more and more flash porno pics coming from lord knows where. And useful comments are somehow lost in space.
Sorry about that error code.
Might try going anonymous and then signing your real name. That sometimes clears it, at least for a while. I have had the same problem in trying to comment on Jo's site now and then. Ah, blame Google and those cursed HTML tags that I'm always flashed with whle I am trying to to steal material from other people..."HTML tags should exceeed 50,000 characters and all that."
Copy and paste and send again and again if you have to.
I value your comments.
Seems the problem is neither bow or
necktie. Just a lot of string that I need to clear out.
I think Jo could add to this.
She is a whiz at clearing up comment space problems.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

JR,

I'll try to comment on myself and see if I can clear the logjam.

ivan@creativewritigng.ca said...

...Comment space seems to work fine now.
...But this comment is not from outside, word verification and all that.
Does somebody want to try and get at the comment space here from the outside? Jo, you out there?
The problem might just be with Google.
Oh what the hell, JR. You got through. Persistence pays off, I guess.

Midnight said...

Ok, I'll go first ;


Cheech : 'Hey Man, am I drivin' ok?'

Chong : 'I think we're parked, Man.'

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Chong: And here's a cop...Say 'your momma' to a pig.

Cheeh: Nah, pigs never come when you call them.

Chong: Sure they do.. . HEY PIG!

Anonymous said...

you bring back some thoughts and memories of my own experiences with brain-dead academia...couldn't organize a drunk-up in a brewery...highly paid empty suits...and often, fragile minds and psyches,greatly in need of actual guidance,are brushed aside as leaves and pawns in a grotesque drama within the real play...hail the pretenders...

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Thanks Anonymous.

Is that Midnight or Tony?

Erik Donald France said...

"The competition is so intense because the stakes are so low."

Truer words were never written.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Thanks, EDF.

Midnight said...

Um, Ivan, it wasn't me, Man ;

"I wasn't looking at his neck,

I wasn't looking at his neck...."

BOOM!

(Never try a parody, if you are a mere parrot.)


Flutters my heart

among the feathers of fealty ;

Her wicked dart,

Changes views of surreal-ty.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...



With a knick-knack
What the fack
Give a dog a bone...

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