Saturday, July 04, 2009
Hey Liz, thanks for sending the picture....I was out of ideas.
I used to pride myself on having the immune system of a starfish, chewing on rocks during the hard times--and still dumpster diving to this day just to keep my hand in.
Can't kill the habit, especially if I find a not- yet- stale- dated sirloin tip roast, all ten pounds of it spewed out of the maw of an automatic and ordinarily sealed dumpster.
Champion seagull figher. I can hear them squeaking, "F*ck-off! F*ck off!
Atavism. Never leave a tern unstoned. "Me f*c k off? You F*ck- off, you over-protected varmints. A man's gotta eat. Don't hang an albatross on me! You guys swarming the Swiss Chalet and Harveys eat better than I do. And Peerless Percy, the parking lot pigeon just shat on me..
It is still two weeks till payday and I won't take shit from anybody. Pigeons to base...you'd better!
Bird Man of Parking Lot. Jesus, a delivery truck just dropped four twine-bound roasts on the asphalt and the meat is so tightly wrapped that the seagulls can't get a beak in. food for a month!...And you guys aren't equipped by heredity to get at it!
Ah the gutter and other warm places.
But not so much now.
I think I've finally got it. Swine flu.
Impervious me? The digestive system of a starfish?
Yes you. What do you think you are, a starfish, a sea cucumber a sea urchin? Scientists have jerked off sea cucumbers for years trying to get at the DNA that makes them able to eat just about anything. Ask Dr. Suzuki, at one time, as a scientist, he had to jerk off many a sea urchin. Maybe hope for a cucumber of the sea!.. Sea urchins and sea cucombers. Fer their DNA.
Migod. Jacques Custeau aquatic child porn! Hope they were of age! Ever try to jerk off a plankton? They exhibit avoidance signs, some of them. Downright choosy!
In any event, I will dumpster dive no more, nor fight with seagulls.
I have developed a cought that will not go away.
Swine flu? I hope not.
Must have been those cigarette butts.
Lord, I gotta sell something as a writer. Gotta stop sarving. Maybe sell this, but who would take it?