Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Madly defending ChuckerCanuck's wife
Heaven forbid I should read a Canadian Conservative blog, but somettimes I do. I find "ChuckerCanuck 2.O" one hell of an intellect, and he is even funny, something lacking, I think in Canadian Conservatives. He is also highly entertaining. To wit,
I married a Calgarian. She is a nutball. The other day, I caught her tossing an aluminum can into the garbage bin. "Fuck the planet," she sneered at me and then scurried under a couch where I could not reach her. She, like all Calgarians, hates queers and science. She loves the military and frequently prays that the military will take over the country to put a real leader in charge.
My in-laws, Calgarians all, make her look like a Quebec communist by comparison. They don't pay taxes and shoot at any tax collector who comes knocking. They started up a Museum of Intelligent Design in their garage and carbon-dated a dinosaur fossil that turned out to be - so they claim - only 5,000 years old. When they couldn't afford to support my wife's grandma, they put her in a crate and shipped her to "socialist Toronto where they give a crap about the old and infirm."
Things you take for granted in the rest of Canada simply don't exist in Calgary. Like traffic lights. Who the hell is a light to tell you whether to stop or proceed. Organic products are banned from city stores: you cannot purchase food unless that food has been genetically modified. Also, children are forced to take steroids in hopes of creating a master race that will one day take over the world.
Calgarians, as we all know, are the biggest proponents of targeted assasinations in Canada. Oh wait, targeted assasinations is a Michael Ignatieff policy, not a radically conservative idea! Scrub that.
Labels: Iggy would be a fine PM, Oh yes
To which I add on Chucker's blog:
As an epsilon- mini artist, I so identify with your wife and her anti-everything.
Hasn't it been cry "fraud" with all artists and writers for the past 100, years, that science is propaganda and a society of reason is hokum. that the Gaia hypothesis is Druidism? Artist know more than those scuba artists in the Calgary think tanks.
The Dadaists painting a moustache on the Mona Lisa, the Ludddites (me?)
Cubists, Symbolists, Marcel Duchamp's Nude descending a Staircase looking in her distortion for all the world like Newt Gingrich descending the staircase of the capitol!
Your wife must surely be a painter or poetess.
Yeah. Overload your wiring. Undeprivilege an African child, Put all the gays on Vancouver Island,say no to Dr. Suzuki, call Elizabeth May somebody's crazy aunt.
I think your wife might be an artist, and more power to her. :)