Thursday, August 27, 2009
Ballad of the eighty-year old smoker. What, no cancer? There must be something wrong with you!
You seem to have more luck in letters when you're agin' somethin' . I certainly do. What matters your reams of of perfectly composed sentences when nobody will print them?
How sweet it is when you come out in print and say flat out to some sacred cow in business or administration, "Just F*ck off. This means you!" I believe the late Prime Minister Trudeau was master of this. It was certainly the first time the expletive was used in Parliament. Certainly gets the attention of the press, and certainly of the poor unexpecting recipient.
"Mr. Speaker," wailed the dazed R. Lundrigan, the Honourable Member from Newfoundland. " Look. He is saying it again!"
This time, Pierre mouths it: "F*ck off. This means you".
It must have been sweet for the famous "Fuddle-duddle" man from Montreal...And now how sweet it was for me, a nearly failed student of Greek philosopy, where many a sage offered a coin or "cock" to the healing god Asclepius--to offer a cock to the local medical esablishment especially their virulent anti-smoking campaign. Yes, I am that nearly eighty-year old smoker, and I am pissed off. Even the cops are pissed off. You can't smoke in your car with kids in it any more. "It's driving people crazy. You can buy cigarettes, but you can't smoke them anywhere. Is this prohibition or what?" I can sense the traffic cop who stopped me going through withdawal himself, since he can't smoke in his own cruiser...Reduced to having a donut and a coffee in the car.. But no cigarette? What would be the point?
So, reduced to a far corner of the parking lot at the local hospital to have my puff while visitng a friend, I composed a letter to the editor....This is about the full extent of any revolutionary activity in Canada. The French have, long ago, weaseled out.
And...Surprise. There is still freedom of expression in this country. The Newmarket ERA printed it. There was my offer of a cock to the god of healing, to Asclepius. and his current wrongheaded anti-smoking campaign. Also to his pal David Suzuki and his spouting whales for good measure. And I caught another red-eyed MD and his own anti-cigarette campaign around here.
No paradox. Just an attack on pair o' docs.
But pride does come before a fall. Or worse. On an icome of $500,000 a year, a doc can afford to have you offed. Never mind you and your middle finger to the rich, powerful behaviour modification adepts now so prevalent in our brave new smoke-free world.
Anyway, here is what I wrote:
NO ESCAPE FROM
Re: Cherry or apple blend smokeless tobacco harmful, letter by Dr. David Annderson; Fend soing the right thing fro whales,but more protiection is needed column by David Suzuki; Pre-registration improves wait tmes by 75%;Chief Operating Oficer,Aug 2l
Egad. So much political correctness in the Aug. 2 paper you can hardly get a word in edgewise.
Dr. Anderson, beating his breast over the new smokeles tobacco--when are these guys going to stop? Doc Suzuki with his usual whale of a column and there's always Dan Carrierre in the paper jusifying his half mill9ion dollar income by doing something innovative and brave, such as banning smoking from all hospital properties.
A lot of trees felled for a whole whaleload of PC.
On smoking, incidences of breast and lung cancer seem to have doubled since everybody seems to have given up smoking. The holdouts, the poor IV-dragging old lades and nurses llighilnt up just off hospital property because you can't smoke anywhere near or at Southlakel
Admittedly, Southlake is among Ontario's best hospitals. It has everything--the isotopes will come--everything but common sense.
Where is the justification for a half-naked 80-year old in subzero winter cold dragging his IV stand and catheter just off the slippery hospital parking lot so he can have a puff and save his sanity?
Smoking was put on Earth so we could use it in a stressful life, but the drug companies prescribe the pill and not the grape or weed.
There is nothling wrong with generic tobacco. It can even make you well--just ask the aboriginal people.
Southlake property is now totally smoke freee...and PC enslaved. You need to be paid $400,000 a year for this foolishness?