Saturday, November 14, 2009

My "frosty sphincter" remains unclenched, much as Stephen Colbert seems to be after my oval.




'I'm calling on Saskatche-whiners to unclench their frosty sphincters and let Americans on to their oval.'—U.S. comedian Stephen Colbert


The Oval, of course, or more properly, the Richmond Olympic Oval, located South of Vancouver will be the site for the speedskating events during the 2010 Winter Olympics.
On last Thursday's show the impish Colbert had more:


"Those syrup suckers won't let us practice at their Olympic venues.… At the Salt Lake Games, we let the Canadian luge team take 100 practice runs ... and you know how Mormons feel about two men lying down on each other," said the tongue-in-cheek night talk-show host."

Hilarious.

Meanwhile, VANOC maintains it is playing by the rules.

"We've offered ample training time to international teams, including the U.S. team," said Smith-Valade. "We had training earlier this year for international teams and we're working right now to offer one more session of access to the international teams before the games."

Some international teams even failed to show up for their training sessions and the Oval sat empty, said Smith-Valade, but she couldn't say if the U.S. was one of those teams." She added that she thought Stephen Colbert was really funny.

..............

Myself, I'm getting some humour out of Swine Flu vaccine additives.

(Understamd now that the only Doctoriing I do is only my poor literature).

Anyway, the additives:

"In addition to the viral and bacterial RNA or DNA that is part of the vaccines, here are the fillers:"

aluminum hydroxide
aluminum phosphate
ammonium sulfate
amphotericin B
animal tissues: (pig blood, horse blood, rabbit brain, dog kidney, monkey kidney, chick embryo, chicken egg, duck egg, calf (bovine) serum
betapropiolactone
fetal bovine serum
formaldehyde
formalin
gelatin
glycerol
human diploid cells (originating from human aborted fetal tissue)
hydrolyzed gelatin
MSG (monosodium glutamate)
Neomycin
Neomycin sulfate
Phenol red indidcator /
Phenoxyethanol (antifreeze) /
potassium diphosphate and monophosphate
Polymyxin B
Polysorbate 20 and 80
Porcine (pig) pancreatic hydrolysate of casein
Residual MRC5 proteins
Sorbitol sucrose
Thimerosal (mercury)
tri(n)butylphospate
VERO cells (a continuous line of monkey kidney ce

...What do I know? I took my won buckshee MD from this One-eyed flying Purple People eater MD from the Rain Forest.

Hell, I don't even understand Global warming, except that it's late November and I am in my shorts. Really. In Canada.

##

16 comments:

Charles Gramlich said...

Formaldehyde? now there's a comfort ingredient.

TomCat said...

Itr's a good thing fore you Canadians that GW ChickenHawk is gone. He'd invade over that. ;-)

ivan said...

Charles.

Damn. Bad enough having it in my sofa, rugs and clothes. Now in me. Whee.

ivan said...

TomCat,

Probably. Old Sleepy could be goaded into anything.

Donnetta Lee said...

Oh, my goodness. And we're going to put that into our bodies to save us! Amazing. You know the naturopath/holistic people generally say--don't get the shots. But, things are so scary, I guess if I get the opportunity to take it, I will. Formaldehyde! Wow. D

ivan said...

Donnetta,

It has been carefully tested, and we are told it's safe...Doubly, triply tested in Canada. It's likely
to cause no harm.

But then yeah. Formaldehyde? I am very old, but there's no need for a preservative for me yet.

ivan said...

....and Monkey Kidneys.

I think I just pissed all over the ceiling.

Ivan

the walking man said...

human diploid cells (originating from human aborted fetal tissue)




How many pro life folks know this and if they did would they still be standing in line to get the vaccine that could save their and their children's life?

ivan said...

Egad. What I have stumbled upon.

Erik Donald France said...

I hope you're kidding on the ingeidents. Regardless, I'll stick to hot dogs for such a mashup of ingredients and take my chances with the flu. Yikes.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Eric Donald France.

I am not kidding....But I must say I picked up that witch's brew list from a cranky, but real pharmacological site. I think the author of that list was against the vacceine.

Yeah. Hot dogs. About the same, I guess, but cooked. Safe.

Jo said...

Rabbit brain? Omigawd.

Here in Vancouver it's called the hinie flu, and a lot of people I know are not getting the vaccine -- including me.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Josie,

Hi. I was kind of curious as to what you would say about the hini additives.

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

thnx

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