Thursday, December 31, 2009

Position sought: Demagogue





Resume

IVAN PROKOPCHUK

Present position: Demagogue.

Position sought: Canadian Senator (A real good Demagogue).


Experience.
1955-l956 Student pilot. (Air Cadets)
1957-1963: Royal Canadia Air Force, full time; air control technician.

l964-1967Journalism student, Ryerson Polytechnic University.
1967-1968 Graduate student in Writing, Instituto Allende, Mexico (U. C.) Wrote novel The Black Icon. Got tuition scholarship on basis of novel.
1969 Staff writer, Metro Mirror then Star Weekly
1969 Staff writer at Star Weekly while also contributing to Toronto SUNDAY SUN..
1970 to l973: Wrote novel, The Hat People, and freelanced for Reader's Digest to support myself..
1974-1975. Teacher, then Columnist TOPIC Magazine, Bradford, Ontario; freelancer TORONTO SUN.

1974-1985. Professor (untenured) Seneca College of Applied Arts and Technology, King City, Ontario..
1985-93 Politics. Ran for Mayor and Regional Councillor for Newmarket, Ontario. Wrote new novel, Light Over Newmarket and a monograph, "Storm and Stress on the Campaign Trail--The l985 election in a small Onario Town."
--Published by the Newmarket Public Library.

Novels written: Four --and the monograph on Newmarket politics.

All novels published by the Bradford Witness Publishing Company, Island Grove Press and the Newmarket and Aurora, and Uxbridge Public libraries.

Number of words in print to date: Three million.
(Now that's grounds for demagoguery, no?)

Career Objective:
To be the best damn writer and politician in Canada, and the first New Democrat Senator (I don't belong a party right now, though definitely a party animal, but I know the New Democrats, like Catholics and Communists, will take just about anybody!
'Hey, Jack Layton. I am your man. I want to be the first New Democcrat senator ever...and I'm electabble, even though in nepotist Canada, senators are appointed. So appoint me, Jack when you become Prime Minster.

It is time I got a job after too long a retirement.
Hell I could start even tomorrow.
Whatta ya say, Prime Minster Brian Mulroney?
How about a Looney?

--And Happy New Year!

##

21 comments:

Donnetta Lee said...

Ivan: Saluting you for you demagoguery. And for all the words in print! What curriculum vitae! Life richly lived it seems. Any perks come along with the new position? D

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

I can make speeches:

Friends, Romans, and assorted Ethiopians!

Charles Gramlich said...

I think you're overqualified for the prime minister job.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Charles,

Perhaps if I were an Ethiopian...

the walking man said...

Or Chinese

Middle Ditch said...

Great to hear about your play Ivan. This is going to be your year!

Happy 2010

Anonymous said...

happy '10 Ivan...all the best wishes for a year of conquests and victories...skip any astronomical resolutions...they just burn up on re-entry,anyway...somewhat envious of your "demogoguesque"stature...am considering a position in debauchery...would that give me some status?...pay no attention the that man behind the curtain,I am the highway...

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Mark,

Ah So! :)

ivan@c reativewriting.ca said...

Monique,

Thanks so much! It does take forever to find a producer doesn't it, even at the local level.

Happy New Year to you and family.
I hope to get back on Facebook if I can finally afford Mozilla. They don't like my Explorer.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Anonymous (Tony):

Yeah. I'm always tempted by debauchery and paganism myself.
A little dyslexic, I sometimes ask, "Is there a Goth?"

But this holiday I went with the big J and Santa.

...And did not Santa come through!
Enough booze, food and other gifts to last a week! Thanks to you, Marianne and the family.
Have the coolest new year, the B's and all the daughters and and grand-B's.

TomCat said...

Ivan for PM!! You have to be better than that asshole, Harper!

Happy New Year to Ivan and all here!

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

TomCat.

Yeah. I think I may have led readers astray by mentioning Brian Mulroney, the other guy in the anals of Canadian politics.

Harper is the Current Prime Minister. Some say, because of Big Oil in Canada, an oily character.

Anonymous said...

you managed to attach the term anal to the right clown...a man with rectal qualities of Churchillian proportions is how I would describe the "used car salesman" Mulroney...having experienced politics at the "front line",Ivan, you also know that most of the participants,no matter how honorable their aspirations, over the long run become afflicted with the same oily appearance and forked tongue syndrome...some even play at arsonists,directly or indirectly,as you well know... even blow up large buildings ... so,to help preserve your integrity and decency,I will support you for the position of Senator,but certainly not anything else any more deeply mired in the political dung that is,and always will be...hell,I'll even vote for you for the Marshall's office...oops,this is Canada...forgot...pity...perhaps best you write the next Canadian novel...illigitimi non carborundum...

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Yes, Candian politicians.

Even the great Trudeau, whom Richard M. Nixon called, perhaps accurately, in retrospect, an "asshole"... PET Sure wrecked the Constitution and gave us a document only intelligible to lawyers and apparatchiks.
Heh.So, not to be outdone, the Japanese President also said, when Trudeau; came to visit, "Ah, So."
But at least Trudea had some vision.

But there was no idealism or altruism with Mulroney or Harper.
Canada is for sale, doncha know?

Yep. Municipal politics.
Bastards burned me out twice.
At one point I swear I saw the endraga motto....Guess it was their thing.
On a coarser level, the town, politically speaking, until recently, was sort of Cops and Wops. At least that's how I felt the last time I had to do a swan dive out of the second floor of my office. Burn, baby, burn. And neither cops or firemen showed up. Finally, one rickety old fire engine, which, I swear, was drawn by horses.

Yep. Tony. Seems you have to be something of a psychopath in politics--and perhaps even more so in big business, Certainly in big oil.

Anonymous said...

it's all slippery business...

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Yep. Greasy and tacky if I can use an oxymoron.

Brian Miller said...

oy, hope ya get it! lol. happy new year!

Erik Donald France said...

Happy 2010, man! Keep givin' 'em hell!

At some point I'm gonna ask about your time in Mexico, among other things . . .

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Brian Miller,

Those smalltown poliicians. Gevolt!

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Thanks for being interested, Erik.

Heh. The lucky world has no shortage of information on old Ivan. He will, more often than not, supply it himself wihout too much prompting. And he is absolutely garrulous with prompting. :)

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