Wednesday, April 21, 2010

She tried to take me upstairs for a ride




SCENE THREE ACT FOUR. INT. DAY.

A STRANGE BEDROOM.

THE PROFESSOR IS LYING IN BED WITH SOMEONE. IT IS UNCLEAR AS TO WHO SHE IS, AS THE PROFESSOR's HEAD SEEMS TO BE RESTING BETWEEN HER ANKLES. THE WOMAN STILL HAS HER SOCKS ON, AND SHE IS TALKING UP TO THE PROFESSOR FROM DOWN BELOW...

MUSIC IN BG. HONKY TONK WOMEN. BY MICK JAGGER AND KEITH RICHARDS:

I met a gin-soaked bar-room queen in Memphis
She tried to take me upstairs for a ride
She had to heave me right across her shoulder
'Cause I just can't seem to drink you off my mind


MUSIC TO FADE.

MUFFLED VOICE FROM DOWN UNDER THE COVERS.

I dunno prof. Nothing too much happening down here.

THERE IS THE SUDDEN EMERGENCE OF A BRUNETTE FLOOZY LADY. BUT, APPARENTLY FOR THE PROF AT LEAST, ONE WITH A HEART OF GOLD

FLOOZY LADY:

Well, I tried to be Isis and help you get over that Medusa chick, you'd talked about all night long, but it looks like you've been alone and without a woman for a long time....Not too much happening. Kinda lost it.

THE PROFESSOR

Je suis mauduit. I think I'm going to have to take up the priesthood.

FLOOZY LADY.

Nonsense. You're just out of practice.

THE FLOOZY LADY NOW GOES TO HER SIDE OF THE DOUBLE BED. SHE TURNS TO THE WALL. THERE IS NOW A HIGH PICHED SOUND, LIKE A HAIR DRYER.

PROFESSOR:

What are you doing?

FLOOZY LADY:

Finishing myself off....Here, you want to try it?

PROFESSOR:

That's physiologically impossible. I think a guy would need at least a Hoover or something.
Mechanical aids!


FLOOZY LADY.

Take a walk on the wild side.

PROFESSOR

How did I ever have the luck to meet you? I was going to suicide. I swear!

FLOOZY LADY (TURNING OFF THE VIBRATOR)

Come on now. We've both been alone for a long time. One knows the other. Now let's go dowstairs and get some lunch.

...end scene.

9 comments:

the walking man said...

Where is scene three?

So the randy professor David has gone impotent...bound to happen because he is obsessed AND very old school, straight laced.

I think it be time to reveal the end of the man.

ivan said...

Mark,

Whoops. What I had as scene four should really have been scene three (corrected now)...Durn, I can't count scenes.

I think it be time to reveal the end of the man.

Yes, I think it might be time to bury Caeasar. :)

Middle Ditch said...

She still has her socks on? That's usually the man's privilege. :-D

ivan said...

Monique,

I have taken this chapter to my former boss and literary critic at our old furniture factory.

...Says it needs a rewrite. :)

TomCat said...

At least she's not Celia!

ivan said...

TomCat,

I have done a lot of travelling through Mexico. What they have there is something they call the Chingada mystique. Chingada the bitch goddess castrator who chingas all men...And all men have to chinga like hell just to stay in their place as men.
No wonder that the word for fuck in Mexico is chinga.
...Somehow relates to Detroit argot. Chinga su madre? Dunno. It's a muddafukka, man.

Mona said...

like they say...." sex is more on the mind, than in the loins..."

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Mona,

Yep. The professor learns.

....And gets sent to Radio Shack for batteries? :)

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