Tuesday, June 28, 2011

William and Kate are coming to Canada on Canada Day--Awww...

Greeted by what seems a pall over my
roman 'a clef about local politics Is it my blog's relative inacessibility to others because of my busted computer?...Or is my "true life "fiction" dull?)

Whatever the case, only the technologically adept true blue readers seen to somehow get past the near-inacessibility of my comment space. I know I should clean out my machine, but it's too close to a holiday when the beautiful young Royals are coming to visit here and I want to at least keep my blog space email capability before I apply a virus and spam "vacuum cleaner."

William and Kate are coming to our neck of the woods.
Aren't they just pretty as pips? And aren't they coming to Canada at the right time?

It seems we have all been in some kind of depression for the past eleven years.
In a word, over here,the shits have been killing us.
The funk was probably caused by the two Middleast wars.
Stupid and hopeless, with the wrong paradigm for success.

I would silently keen, There is no success here in cave man land. Get the hell out! Get out yesterday.
Get the hell out to anywhere but the Middle East.
Go to Wichita of you have to. Go to Canada.

And at about that time four years ago, out comes Jack White with his remarkable CD, Seven Nations Army. With its refrain, "I'm going to Wichita."
Well, the Royals are going to Ottawa.
Previously, I'd believed in another kind of royalty. As an old rock columnist, I believed in the baroque kindom of rock and roll. There was, oddly genius here at times. Certainly the Beatles, and arguably, The Rolling Stones. But I also had my own heroes, Jack and Meg White.

Genius is an an awareness of the spirit of the age, accompanied by a richness of human content, and Jack and Meg White certainly had it with their old band, White Stripes.

I first heard the work of Jack and Meg White ( who now seem in their own depression as the band has broken up) heard SEVEN NATIONS ARMY on radio. I pulled my car over...I just had to get that CD!

But what lyrics in the song. What biblical and even Native American references:
To wit:

I'm gonna fight 'em off
A seven nation army couldn't hold me back
They're gonna rip it off
Taking their time right behind my back

And I'm talking to myself at night
Because I can't forget
Back and forth through my mind
Behind a cigarette
And the message coming from my eyes
Says leave it alone

Don't want to hear about it
Every single one's got a story to tell
Everyone knows about it
From the Queen of England to the hounds of hell

And if I catch it coming back my way
I'm gonna serve it to you
And that ain't what you want to hear
But that's what I'll do
And a feeling coming from my bones
Says find a home

I'm going to Wichita
Far from this opera forevermore
I'm gonna work this job
Make the sweat drip out of every pore
And I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding
Right before the lord
All the words are gonna bleed from me
And I will think no more
And the stains coming from my blood
tell me "go back home"

Seems lately we all want to go to Wichita. Maybe vast Canada.

And, soft-hearted sentimentlist that I am, Heh, I'm glad that William and Kate are coming over this way, in the relative sticks.

Hey, it can't hurt. The wonderful Duck and Doochess are bigger than any rock star.
Even larger than Jack and Meg White. Almost bigger than the Beatles.

Aw, I am a sentimental sucker.



Note to readers:
Ignore what follows. My copier is busted so I am setting up this quasi-letter to my newspaper editor to get properly prnted at my local library.


Present position: Demagogue.
Position sought: Canadian Senator (A real good Demagogue).

Experience. 1955-l956 Student pilot. (Air Cadets) 1957-1963: Royal Canadia Air Force, full time; air control technician. l964-1967. Journalism student, Ryerson Polytechnic University.
1967-1968 Graduate student in Writing, Instituto Allende, Mexico (Universiity of Californa. Wrote novel The Black Icon. Got tuition scholarship on basis of novel.

1969 Staff writer, Metro Mirror then Star Weekly 1969 Staff writer at Star Weekly while also contributing to Toronto SUNDAY SUN.. 1970 to l973: Wrote novel, The Hat People, and freelanced for Reader's Digest to support myself..

1974-1975. Teacher, then Columnist TOPIC Magazine, Bradford, Ontario; freelancer TORONTO SUN. 1974-1985. Professor (untenured) Seneca College of Applied Arts and Technology, King City, Ontario.. 1985-93 Politics. Ran for Mayor and Regional Councillor for Newmarket, Ontario. Wrote new novel, Light Over Newmarket and a monograph, "Storm and Stress on the Campaign Trail--The l985 election in a small Onario Town." --Published by the Newmarket Public Library.

Novels written: Four --and the monograph on Newmarket politics. All novels published by the Bradford Witness Publishing Company, Island Grove Press and the Newmarket and Aurora, and Uxbridge Public libraries. Number of words in print to date: Three million. (Now that's grounds for demagoguery, no?)

Career Objective: To be the best damn writer and politician in Canada, and the first New Democrat Senator (I don't belong a party right now, though definitely a party animal, but I know the New Democrats, like Catholics and Communists, will take just about anybody! 'Hey, Jack Layton. I am your man. I want to be the first New Democcrat senator ever...and I'm electabble, even though in nepotist Canada, senators are appointed. So appoint me, Jack when you become Prime Minster. It is time I got a job after too long a retirement. Hell I could start even tomorrow. Whatta ya say, Prime Minster Brian Mulroney? How about a Looney?


Another draft of letter to the editor:

Letter to the editor

In my recent dotage and dyslexia, I have framed a letter, not all that well titled, "My awful locomotive doG."

I am convinced that a locomotive doG with his piercing whistle and growl, can make even a Fairy Lake goose go all feathers.

The locomotive doG barrels past my window every workday, four times a morning, and four times in the eve.
I think I am losing my mind.
Bark, whine, goes the locomotive doG.
Honk go the geese.
Jangle, jangle, go my nerves as I spill the morning coffee.

Trains gotta GO. And I get a flow...all over my shirtfront.

"Why do you live on the railroad track, " asks an ERA reader. "Because I'm old, crazy and dyslextic," I say." It's the railroad track or that big Porter Place for the homeless out in the Bradford styx."...See, I told you I was dyslexic.
I try to relax with a movie. Wouldn't you know it?
Vin Diesel.
Honk. Comin' atcha.
Rumble, rumble. Blast!

A forties song is in my head.

"Oh the railroad runs
in the middle of the house."

I must go where the wild goose goes, maybe even sit on the edge of the old milllpond dam like the geese..

The tame geese sit on an inch of water on the lip of the old dam.
They don't seem to get cold feet, do not become startled any more, whenever the go trains come, certainly not in July.
And by the time the fourth and final train screams toward the Big smoke, it is just greeted with an indifferent honk.

But myself, I still go all feathers with the noise.
Old, dyslexic and dyspeptic.
Threw my cane at the train.

I think I saw a goose duck.



Charles Gramlich said...

I like that song quite a lot. and The new royal bride is quite the looker

ivan said...

Hi folks,

Just a quick note that I'll be part of a panel of artists talking about city support (or lack thereof) for the arts on CBC Mainstreet (Radio 1) today. I'm not sure what time it'll be on but the show airs 3-6 pm so if you tune in (online at http://www.cbc.ca/mainstreetns/) you just might hear some of my jumbled thoughts.



Chris Benjamin is a freelance journalist and fiction writer. His critically acclaimed first novel, Drive-by Saviours, was listed as a Canada Reads Top 40 essential read of the decade. His first book of nonfiction, Atlantic Canada's Sustainability Innovators, will be published by Nimbus in Fall 2011. He is the Sustainable City Columnist for The Coast (www.thecoast.ca). In 2006/2007 he worked as a journalist in Ghana. He was a finalist for the 2010 Fusion Go Sustainability Award and shared an honourable mention in the 2009 National Magazine Awards. Chris has written opinion, fiction and features for The Globe and Mail, Chronicle Herald, VoicePrint Canada, This Magazine, Now Magazine, Canadian Dimension, Descant, Third Person Press, Nashwaak Review, Pottersfield Press, Rattling Books, The Society, University of Waterloo Press, Z Magazine, Briarpatch Magazine, Coastlands, Progress Magazine, Rural Delivery and many others.


ivan said...


That was from Benjibopper.

Anonymous said...

Dear Ivan,

I hope you have been well. I still can't reach your blog, I have no idea why it is so!

I have been a bit busy getting some health check ups done, and also with my work. So have been away from blog posting for some time. Hope things are well at your end. I heard that summer is in full swing in Canada & the barbecue season is on :). My mom will be leaving for California in a couple of days from there, then she will be back in Canada in August & then back to India by mid August.

Hope I shall not lose my cool at her spoiled servant till then!

You take care


ivan said...

Hi Mona,

Technical difficulties with the blog I can't fix right now.
(Only Charles, above seems to be able to get through).

Thanks for the gracious and informative note.

Hope your health results are ok; Iam only now just recovered from
something. I thank the gods that all is well now.
But my computer is not well...Have to fix. And it's a holiday!
BTW, Bollywood is all over Toronto this week.
William and Kate are hereabouts, certainly in Ottawa today!

...Things could be worse.

Take care,girl.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

I am trying to fix my computer...See if I can get into my own comment space!


ivan said...

Dear Ivan

Many Many happy Returns of the day!



ivan said...

Thanks, Mona.

It was good.

eric1313 said...

Spam, virus, Seven Nation Army... nothing holds you back!

ivan said...

Hi Eric!

...World War II survivor, I guess...
Spam fed. The good stuff. :)

the walking man said...

C'mon Ivan admit it. You're jealous because he got the babe and you got the goiter! hahahahahaha or was that garter.

eric1313 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
eric1313 said...

whatever it was that you ate, I'll have to find the recipe for and have a double.

ivan said...


Yeah. He got my chick.

And what a looker!

And I never even came close the order of the Garter.

ivan said...


I dunno.

My last Canadian postal code ended with 1P8.

My former wife used to laugh about our postal code, which was L3Y 1P8.

She had this memory jog trick:

"I loved you for three years.
One Pie I ate."

Wenhao Guo said...

mulberry outlet
ray ban sunglasses
louis vuitton handbags
michael kors factory outlet
rolex watches
cyber monday 2015
michael kors factory outlet
ray ban sunglasses
louis vuitton bags
tiffany outlet
wedding dresses
christian louboutin uk
belstaff jackets
cheap mlb jerseys
michael kors outlet
cheap ugg boots
oakley sunglasses wholesale
michael kors outlet
michael kors factory outlet
ralph lauren uk
the north face clearance
nobis outlet
ray ban sunglasses
cheap uggs
louis vuitton outlet
adidas outlet store
barbour coats
discount michael kors handbags
ugg boots
chanel handbags

艾丰 said...

christian louboutin shoes
cheap nfl jerseys
michael kors outlet
nike air max uk
air max 2015
michael kors handbags
lacoste polo shirts
valentino outlet
jordan shoes
beats by dre
nike huarache
lebron james shoes
michael kors outlet clearance
louis vuitton handbags
nfl jersey wholesale
lacoste pas cher
abercrombie and fitch
abercrombie and fitch
mlb jerseys
cheap jordans
michael kors outlet store
michael kors outlet
true religion outlet
tommy hilfiger
salomon shoes
nike outlet store
michael kors factory outlet
michael kors outlet
mbt shoes outlet
discount michael kors handbags
lacoste shirts
lebron shoes
mulberry outlet
michael kors handbags
snapbacks wholesale
swarovski outlet
links of london

raybanoutlet001 said...

tiffany and co jewellery
nfl jerseys from china
nike roshe run one
nike huarache sale
michael kors factory outlet
michael kors outlet
tiffany and co jewellery
air max thea
nike zoom
nike roshe one
adidas nmd
air jordan shoes
kobe basketball shoes
adidas neo online shop
huarache shoes
air jordan retro
michael kors handbags clearance
adidas nmd
michael kors outlet store
lacoste polo shirts
nike air huarache
michael kors handbags
ray ban sunglasses outlet
skechers go walk
cheap tiffanys
ray ban sunglasses
discount oakley sunglasses