NEWMARKET--Ever vigilant Regional Chariman Bill Fisch was forced to call in the Navy for a minesweeper to patrol Fairy Lake for periscope wakes.
"Glasnost or no glasnost, those Russkies are up to no good," he said through his gas mask, while scouring the millpond with his binoculars for torpedo wakes.
First to respond was Rodney M. Fairy, after whose family the lake was named. He suggested an immediate launching of a Flower Class corvette to depth charge those submariners down there... "and their godawful fashion statements. "Outrageus bear hats with stars on them! "It's those fur shapkas the commanders wear. How P.C.!
"And the brutality of those clumsy podvodnaya lotka boots."
Newmarket citizens have been issued binoculars and gas masks and remakes of the movie,
"The Russians Are Coming, The Russians are Coming."
"That will teach them, said Rodney. "They will be blown ashore!