Wednesday, October 15, 2014

When all else fails, try stand-up comedy

This blog being dormant for a while, I will have to attempt, like my old musical friends who called themselves the Mumbleducks (former duct installers all)--something like stand-up comedy. Take tragic instance out of your life and turn it into comedy. Like being born into a potato field (true story) where is seems your first cousin was kinda sweet. Or hitting on the same woman for the third time that night, and being told,"Hey,don't you think you're spreading yourself kinda thin?" Charlie Sheen manque', that's what one is. Told by a prospective pick-up, "Sorry. I don't have 'father' issues." Kinda tough, dating as a slightly (slightly?) older guy. Cover the balding head, wear an ear stud. Get a small tattoo. "Any more assholes like you in Newmarket?" Sit there at the bar, waiting for the ladies to make the first move. Hours later, in the mirror, you is a skeleton. Dating is tough for the slightly older guy. Until you finally learn, you don't have to do nothin'. Just sit there at the bar, looking all f*cked up. This is deadly. Even Lizzy the Lezzy will come right over. "Oh, you poor man!" Takes a long time to become a cad. :)